Toddler won’t stop biting

[Georgiaxxxo]

Hello sorry in advanced for the essay

i I am looking for some advice, my son, who is 3 is a biter. He’s bitten at nursery a handful of times and they have a good system in place there and he seems like he knows he’s done wrong after. At home he tries to bite and hit me quite frequently, we have the book “biting hurts” so repeat the sentences when he bites and he finishes the sentences. SOMETIMES It however doesn’t sink in, he continues to bite me so I firmly say NO and move him away from me. Quite often though he will go to do it again, and adds in some hitting so I have to physically move him away with a push or place him somewhere away from me

I am so worried that because I end up having to move him physically that I am hurting him, I am then worried I’ll hold him too hard, even though it’s to protect myself. I find it hard to not get worked up and shout when it’s over and over again

EVERYONE apart from my partner and preschool have told me to bite him back and he won’t do it again, I will not ever be able to do that as I really don’t believe it’ll improve things in the long run. And I don’t want to inflict any pain on him. I have a couple of times slapped him on the hand lightly or had to pull him off a child by his top or pull/push him off me quickly and even this I feel so so guilty with.

to add: I grew up being smacked and threatened to be smacked and I don’t want that for him, I also don’t want to shout but I do end up shouting then crying because it hurts or he won’t listen

if anyone has any advice I’d really appreciate it, we have a second due so worried he might bite the baby,

he is a LOVELY boy apart from the biting. He seems to do it when he is excited or annoyed sometimes seems random. He doesn’t really tantrum and has been quite a lovely loving little boy apart from this

If he's frustrated I think m the first to check is that his speech and language are on track with this simple progress checker.

Have you read this from Dr Sears too?

Sorry I forgot to mention, he does have a speech delay.. he has come on leaps and bounds the last few weeks however. He was saying 30 words to being able to say all words now but can only put 2/3 words together as opposed to full sentences. He’s able to count forwards and backwards now too.
I’m hoping this means he will be on his way to being able to say his feelings rather than bite.

thank you I will have a look at that !

@CadyEastman the progress tracker does say he has some delay, the drsears link won’t work for some reason on my phone I will look it up at work tomorrow, thanks again

If he's had sine speech delay, did you do the progress checker and if so, what did it say?

“From your answers, it may be that your child needs more support with understanding, talking, speech, social communication.”

I will have a look at the resources today! I didn’t know this was available. I have been tired and sick due to the pregnancy so he hasn’t had all my attention bless him, which I feel awful about! He’s probably fed up of mummy being boring

I really don't think the speech delay is your fault at all @Georgiaxxxo, some DC do just have some speech delay

You can book a free call with Speech & Language UK. They also have some resources on their website.

I'd also ask the HV to refer him for a hearing test, just to rule out Glue Ear.

I think I'd also fill in the 36 month Ages & Stages and the 36 month Social & Emotional Ages & Stages and ask your HV to score them, although obviously you can score them yourself

You might want to get him something like Learning Avocados and ask at the library if there are any suitable books to help him deal with his emotions.

I haven't read this one but I've heard that The Feelings Book can be good too.

Let us know how you both get on. Hopefully with a bit of SLT his speech delay and the biting can be sorted out long before he starts school