after 2 terms at secondary school had this conversation with niece today...

[deaconblue]

so depressing, she used to be keen on school, read loads etc
Today she's telling me how important it is to be cool. Apparently this means being pretty and popular with the boys. Books are boring unless they are about growing up and boys and stuff. School work is pointless as she wants to be moved down a set to be with her mates. She's worried about being teased for the brace she's getting soon but was telling me with hilarity about a boy at school they call "mummy's boy" and a girl they teased for being fat. Her ambition is to be a hip hop dancer.
Is this just typical nearly 12year old crap or am I right to feel really depressed about where the sweet little girl went??? Maybe I'm just getting old

I work in secondary & am suprised at how quickly this 'attitude' emerges compared to those distant days 'when I was at school'!!
Our Yr 7s seem to be split into several camps:
a) still think they are in primary - want to write in pencil etc
b) can't be bothered thinking for themselves, want someone else to do all the work - too cool for school, rude, no respect for staff
c) quietly getting on with things

Unfortunately group c is woefully small!

I have yet to have a 12 yr old LO, but do remember my neice morphing at 13....she became sullen, angry, shut down, rude etc. Now she is grown up and we can talk about those days, I also have her perspective - what felt so overwhelming and difficult, how scared she was, how unseen/heard she felt, etc.

All pretty typical teenage stuff, I reckon. I do sort of remember locking myself in my room, learning to roll my eyes, listening to endless angry music, and worrying about doing too well in exams in case I wasn't liked by every single girl in my class.

Its shocking when it happens, though, I'm sure I'll be in therapy when my LOs hit puberty

It is awful but sadly 'normal!' it will pass.

Dh keeps saying it will pass. She's just so sulky and full of attitude, how my sister can bear looking at her grumpy face day in day out is beyond me. Makes ds' two year old tantrums seem a pleasure as at least they are short lived!

I have one of these at home too.

Sometimes I am appalled at the way she seems to be morphing into a self-obsessed, dirty, label-loving, MSN-worshipping, selfish, moody, mean and nasty street rat.

She was not subjected to any of these attitudes at home. She used to be a sweet and thoughtful young girl.

BTW, I still love my daughter. I just don't like what she is becoming sometimes. I too, hope this too shall pass.

But at least she talks to you! As long as they talk, whether to their parents or others who love them, you can at least keep in touch with what's going on in those confused teenage heads!

Ds1 shut himself in his room for 3 years and didn't speak to me!!!! ds2 sounds much like your niece but despite all the same sort of attitude has come out the other side at 17 with 12 gcses so there is hope. Have it all to come with dd who is just 11!!! Toddler tantrums are nature's way of preparing you for teenagers imo!!!!! I have always thought that when they want to prevent teenage pregnancy they should give them a sulky teenager to look after and not a baby!! Not practical as most of them are sulky teenagers themselves!!!!!!!!