2.5 DS pushing / hitting other children. Advice plse!

[offersinwot]

DS (30 months) has taken to hitting / shoving / pushing other children at nursery and playgroup. He even pushed his favorite playmate over yesterday. Today has been the limit as he hit another child on the head with a metal toy bus. I have been consistent in reinforcing the being nice / not to hit etc as has the nursery staff. But evidently today all has failed.

He says sorry but today that was with reluctance and also he started to find it funny......

I'm not sure what has been the cause - if there was even one.

Has anyone else experienced this? And any suggestions as to what may help to make this 'phase' pass... please God it is a phase or have I got a thug on my hands?

My dd did this at the exact same age. I was very firm with her and she only did it for around 1 month so it was definitely a phase (didn't help that she had/has a baby brother to push around, so she got a lot of practice at home!)

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Has anyone heard of the "Two arm technique" for pushing, hitting etc? I was looking around the internet and this is on an American site I think.

I totally sympathise OIW. My DS2 started at about 22 months. Five months on it's a nightmare.

He hits little friends and shoves them over. He can switch from being a little gentle angel to a complete monkey (or should that be monster) in a second. I am ALWAYS stressed when we have little visitors.

I haven't started him at nursery because I just know that when some child took a toy or did something he didn't like, he'd take the heaviest most lethal thing and hit them with it. When we tried a trial run at his older brother's pre-school he threw a metal lorry (sound familiar) smack into the back of a girls head and with some force. She hadn't done a thing he was just over tired and frustrated.

On his own he's sweetness and light. I hope it's a phase

I'm so upset - he's brained his best playmate so many times in the space of 1hr - that despite his Mum being supportive of the situation, I could see it was really tough on her and her DS.
On top of that he came up to me whilst I was briefly on the phone and bashed me in the knees and ran off. He knew what he had done as I dealt with it as soon as I could get off the phone.
I feel so helpless and most websites place the blame firmly on the parents. So I must be an awful parent.
I'm trying a reward chart; time out; the 'two arm technique' as described on the web and at a complete loss. I have to go to work tomorrow for 3 days and am dreading the results of nursery.
I am in tears as I feel so utterly useless.

My ds is EXACTLY like this, and has been for a long time, nearly a year actually, so the 'it's a phase' is starting to wear a bit thin tbh.

I really empathise with twotimestrouble, ds is also sweetness and light at home.

No solutions I'm afraid but just to let you know you're not alone.

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Offers, you are NOT to blame. DS1 was an absolute angel and I took all the credit when other kids were throwing tantrums, biting etc etc. DS2 has been brought up just the same and has has the devil in him sometimes. I'm not sure that techniques work because I think they don't stop to consider the consequences at this age.

I really feel for you (and Panic). It does start to affect the way people deal with your child. I had a mum giving me a public and angry dressing down at a ball park recently. It was so humiliating.

The difficulty is, you can only be so vigilant. Pitch is right. In nursery they have to be responsible. In my case I felt the pre-school just wanted him out and made no effort to manage his behaviour. A nursery should be far more responsive. So it's no good them blaming you.

Doesn't solve the problem though does it!

My ds is 3.9 and we are having issues with him pushing. I get so worried at school about what he might do to other children.