Bottle/solids feeding problems - New house husband!!

[hellodada]

Hi everyone,

Today is my first day as a stay at home dad. Dropped wife off at work and ds at nursery. Its just me and dd 5 mnths.

Here's the problem:

For the past week I've been trying to get her to take a bottle of breast milk or jar food. I've tried Avent and Tommy Tippie bottles, with different flow tops. I've also tried a free flowing cup with mouth piece.

Atempt to feed holding in arms, but she pushes bottle away. If I get any in she coughs it up. Can't tell if she doesn't know what to do or just doesn't like it.

health visitor says she'll take it eventually and she wont starve herself. But at the moment, she's having a breast feed in morning at 8 and in evening at 5-6pm. Inbetween she probably having 20ml of milk.

Any suggestions or help is hugely appreciated. This is my first Mumsnet post. Wife is mumsnetter and told me to turn to you folks for help.

Thanks.

ds takes milk or water out of a cup. No lid or spout just put small amount of milk in a small sterilised plastic cup (i used the clear lids to the avent bottles). Sit her sideways on your lap or in a chair. Hold the cup to her lips and she should drink. Try not to tilt it too much and drown her!!!! They fed ds this way at the hospital as my breastmilk took ages to come in. I still do this sometimes as when he has wind he refuses the bottle and ardhes his back but will feed from cup. How is she with solids?

P.S- I wish my husband would stay home!!! Is dd quite easy going and placid? I agree she won't starve herself especially if she takes solids, just try and give her milk any way possible just to quench her thirst and get calcium into her. Easier said than done but wishing you luck!

Ok, I'll try that in a mo. DD is a little darling. She smiles all the time and ds (3.5) loves her to bits.

At this very minute she is composing herself on my lap as we sit here on the floor typing. Just had 10 minutes of screaming and spitting out milk.

In the last week I've been trying her on solids, ie: stage 1 jars. Apple, carrot, baby rice too. She wont open her mouth and the only way it goes in, is through a gap for air yelp! Sometimes it stays in.

She's all happy and placid sitting on my lap now... oh wait, just trumped on me. Better check it out.

I'll try the lid cup thing in just a sec.

Thanks.

Hi, if she won't open her mouth for solids then she isn't ready.Just leave it a few weeks.As far as the milk feeds go just stay relaxed and keep trying,she wont starve herself.Good luck

forget about the solid food..

encourage her to take milk, and think about introducing her again to food in a few weeks when she is used to her new routine with you...

My dh looked after dd1 from 6 months. Only thing she would use was a beaker (cup and lid). No way would she touch the bottle.

Once they can sit a bit with your help there's not much point in bottles anyway. May as well get her used to feeding herself!

My dd1 took very little ebm at first - and she never drank more than about 4oz in a day (small advent bottle size).

She would latch onto me when I come home practically before I could get my coat off!

Good luck - my dh was a SAHD through financial necessity not choice. Some days were very tough, and I really admire him for doing it without having the breast things . Dd1 is now 5 and has a really great bond with him. He's now looking after dd2 (16 months) and she is just full of hugs and smiles for him too

Well, little miss hungry has fallen asleep. Tried the cup lid but she was a bit too upset. I'll try again later when she's in a better mood.

Should I be trying lots of different cups bottles etc at the same feed? Or should I use one and stick to it.

Thanks Lillypie for the feeding advice.

Now she's asleep, I suppose I better do some house jobs. As it's my first day in my new role I'd better get to it. I've already been warned about the car crash that is Jeramy Kyle!!?

Will let you know developments later. Thanks for the welcome.

Oh also, I definitely recommend the baby led weaning for solids. I know it's a matter of choice, but my dh says this time round it's been a lot less stressful without all the purees etc (even though it was only a matter of defrosting them).

dd2 eats more or less what dh eats - scrambled eggs, beans, chips, fruit, pasta etc.

The key is not to start until they are 6 months though .

With the cup. We tried it at non-feeding time at first. Eg we let her play with it empty on the floor, thn we put some water in and let her play with it and showed her how to drink some. Then we put ebm in.

I found the tommee tippee ordinary beakers best (or asda do a similar style one). DO NOT USE non-leak ones. Breastfed babies just cannot get anything out of them!

We used one colour for water (blue) and one for ebm (yellow), so she would know what was coming (but that might just be a bit of madness on my part!!).

fondant4000- Thank you. Sounds about the same as dd.

It is tough without the breast, because as soon as dw feeds dd she's happy and looking at me again.

We'll get there. In the grand scheme of her lifetime, a few weeks in my arms giving me evils will be nothing compared to the teenage years and her not being allowed a boyfriend until she's 25.

This could "help www.nctsales.co.uk/prodshow.asp?id=750" ? Worked for a bottle-phobic baby i know

And I'll give you 2 weeks before you're glued to Jeremy K, and Phil and Fern..oh and wasting spending a lot of time on mn too

Jeeze, posts coming so fast I can't reply, lol.

I like the idea of different colour cups and letting her play with it before hand too.

I wouldn't stress too much about the chores when she's napping. Make sure you get some recovery time for yourself.

My dh never did housework etc. - though he would go shopping. I was just really thankful that he was looking after dd and we didn't have to get childcare.

I think dh has also felt like the other carer without the breasts. He also plans to keep the dds in until they are old maids! You have a great attitude to it though - and you will really get the benefit whe they are older.

My dd1 (now 5) has a lot of respect for my dh, and does not give him any trouble. She saves it all up for me

Lizzer- Those cups look pretty good.

My DW can NEVER tell me off for using MN as she 'told' me to come on here. Never stated how long. ;)

That was it for us. Both work and pay all our money into childcare, or one work and save on childcare costs and let kids be around a parent.

DS attends nursery 3 times a week and almost always he comes home with a bad habbit. Takes a day or two to stamp it out but then back we go. Its only 1 child at the nursery that's the bad infuence. But thats a different post ALLLLLLL together.

Hey - well done on day 1. Hope you get a chance to sit back a bit later this evening

Have to dash home now to rescue my dh........

oh, and it's worth tasting the milk

dd had a phase of apparent bottle refusal when I went back to work and I drove myself nuts thinking she'd starve / dehydrate etc.
All that was wrong was the EBM had been frozen for longer than it could cope with and when I tested it it tasted vile - no wonder she wouldn't drink it!
Now I don't keep milk longer than six weeks and she's fine with it...

Day 2. Still no joy on the drinking front. Now she's keeping dw up all night feeding.

Have bought a Tommie Tippie cup have just left it with dd to play with.

Have given up on ebm for now as dont think dw can get much more out. dd now has big feed before I take dw to work. I'm going to try dd on water or formula and see what she thinks with her new cup. I've attached it to her mobile so it dangles in front of her. God know what anyone will think if they see all these cups and stuff handing down. Can't afford real toys?!?! :| haha

Yesterday was brilliant day tho, aside from the feeding issues. We played loads and I got lots of jobs done and had dinner ready for when gorgeous dw got home. not a hint of Jeramy Kyle either.

Does it matter what I try dd on now? Should I try both formula and water and see what she likes best or just go for one???

Thanks.

baies are clever try her with both as often as she wants she will not starve! I have children I child mind who are breast fed one refuses to take milk any other way but mum uses yoghurts to top up calcium and does not worry now eventually they take milk if they want it keep up good work

SHE SUCKING A RUSK, SHE'S SUCKING A RUSK.

Wahoooooooooooo!!!

Still isn't drinking, but this is definately progress.

Excellent! She certainly won't starve now

You have my sympathy I'm having a similar problem with DS who's just turn 6m and soon has to go to the childminder once a week for me to work. He'll just about take a cup and is just about prepared to eat solids (refused for a week or two). I think all you can do is just keep trying good luck!

Yes - mine made it up at night too

I didn't mind too much as I got to see them more - but not so good for your brain!

It'll all come together. If it was me I'd stick with water and the suggestion of yogurt was good. Formula tastes horrible and my dds would not drink it - but if it works that's cool

I think dd1 started drinking the ebm after about a week. With dd2 she was 11 months when I went back - so when she wouldn't have ebm we didn't have to fret.

I'm sure things will work out for you all - you're doing a great job

Hellodada, just to let you know it took ages for my ds to get used to drinking from anything other than my breast. Definitely pick one thing and stick to it, and keep trying it at the same time every day. If you keep trying with lots of different bottles or cups, she'll just get confused.

If she is now starting to take solids, you will need to get some water at least, if not ebm, into her. I second the post about the basic cups with completely freeflowing spouts. Good luck!