Hi everyone, I’m looking for any suggestions on how to correct my DS behaviour since seeing my best friend and her DS 5 weeks ago.
To cut a long story short, I haven’t had my best friend to my house in 2 years as she doesn’t go anywhere without her children (no issue with that) and the last time she came round with them, they completely trashed the place, tormented my pet, rude, spiteful etc. They were 1 and 3 years old at this point which I know is very young but I don’t know anyone else whose children’s behaved that way even at that young age!
I love my friend dearly, but we have very different parenting styles and she lacks discipline so her kids are generally a complete nightmare whenever we go out. As a result I have limited contact between my DS and her children and we tend to meet up every 2-3 months with the kids, but always outside.
About 5 weeks ago I invited her over for the first time in 2 years. The oldest was out with her parents, so she just had the little one who is the same age as my DS and the weather was awful. I thought I would give her DS the benefit of the doubt as his behaviour may be encouraged by his older sibling.
Well I should have just trusted my gut and met outside as normal, her DS ended up trashing the place again. Breaking my DS toys because my DS wanted to play with them, snatching things from my DS and making a complete mess, climbing on the dining and coffee table. The mess I can overlook, but he was also hitting, nipping, biting, spitting (which infuriated me) and just being very spiteful to my DS, me and my friend. I had to tell him to stop on multiple occasions and explain that this was my house, my rules while my friend sat there and did nothing as usual. Needless to say he won’t be here ever again!
Ever since my DS behaviour has been awful. He has been spitting which is something he never did before, started to snatch, hit, nip, bite when he doesn’t get his own way, climbs all over the dining table etc. Basically copying everything my friends son did in that long hour and a half when he was here.
It’s been 5 weeks now and I really am at a loss on how to deal with this. I feel like I’ve tried everything, telling him to stop in various different ways, naughty step, removing reward stars from his jar, when I ask him why he spat, he says (friends sons name) did it - I’ve told him my friends son is a naughty boy and my DS is a nice boy and nice boys don’t spit. I’ve even ended up shouting at him when he spat in my sisters face. I felt awful after shouting as it really did make him cry, but I admit I was absolutely furious when he spat at her!
My DS is by no means an angel, he has his moments like all 3 year olds but he is generally very well behaved and has manners. I don’t believe this a natural developmental stage as he has had small hitting and biting phases when he was younger which we disciplined for and hasn’t been repeated. This is a direct result of spending time with my friends DS, especially since my DS is referencing him when asked. My DH is furious with me because he told me not to invite them over, and my parents and sister are getting annoyed with my DS behaviour now - I had to bring him home at the weekend because he kept spitting all over the floor at my parents house and my mum and I had enough.
I am currently TTC #2 so I really don’t need the added stress this is causing.
I really need some help.
Sorry this is so long.