a little boy who shouts at me

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What am I doing wrong? My little boy is my whole world and I am always telling him how much and love him and he, in turn, tells me he loves me so why does he shout at me? I have to say it is usually when things are not going his way... T time to go to bed, T stop playing in the front seat of the car... T please get off the plants...etc., he will deliberately carry on doing it. I ask him at least 6 times before I have to start talking firmly and if necessary drag him away. T will then start to shout at me - get off! go away! your stupid! I am embarrased writing this but I just don't know what to do. I have tried the naughty step, no sweets, withdrawing toys etc., and it works but it seems to be a constant cycle. How can I stop him reacting like this indefinately?

oh dear but i have been known to threaten that

I have found it to be very effective in getting toys up off the floor

oh and I shout

in my defence...

oh I don't have one. I feel a bit guilty afterwards.

am much better on theory than practice really

I used to shout, I have made a deal with my ds that I will not shout if he does not misbehave. I don't see this working somehow, he's not had a major telling off for a couple of weeks though so maybe it's working. He's 9 next week so he's more able to bargain than a 4 year old. I have also threatened after the Lego was left on the living room floor for 4 days, I'd had enough by then.