Hi,
I am just looking for some much appreciated advice…
I have a little girl who is 5, she has always been a sensitive and kind little girl. I think she has always quite liked being the only child & didn’t often mention having a sibling.
We became pregnant unexpectedly last year & when we told our daughter, she was very happy and emotional. She really wanted a little sister. We took her to the gender scan to involve her & baby is actually a boy.
She did tell us she felt dissapointed, and seemed to lose interest in the pregnancy. Previously she had wanted to look at the app, and see the fruits size comparisons etc.
Whilst it has been the school holidays, my bump seems to have shot out. We went on holiday & on our return, she seems to have become very outwardly upset at my pregnancy.
It started when she told me last month that she was worried that when the baby comes. I won’t love her as much. I resssired her that I loved her so much & nothing will ever change that & although things might feel different and hard sometimes when the baby comes, it will takes us all time to get used to this. But nothing will change my love for her.
I have offered if she would like to feel the baby kick and she says she doesn’t want to. I haven’t pushed it, as I don’t want to make her feel like she has to do this before she is ready.
She has also made comments such as ‘I hate the baby’, ‘I don’t want a boy, when he’s born you should send him to another family’, ‘I’ll never love the baby’, ‘the baby isn’t my family, he’s yours’. I try to validate how she is feeling and understand she is feeling anxious and worried; but it also hurts my heart & I have no idea how to get her on board with the baby’s arrival. I’ve never heard her talk like that before, it’s so out of character.
I am of course so happy to be pregnant and so excited. But also feel so guilty and sad that it’s having such an impact on my little one.
I would love to hear other people’s experiences and any advice of what worked for them. Thank you for reading all this ❤️