6 month old poor sleeper - please help

[Jennymglitter]

Hi

My 6 month old has been a poor sleeper since being a newborn and we are beyond exhausted. I feel like I’m at complete breaking point as everything I’ve tried hasn’t helped, nothing seems to make any difference at all.

The two main issues are

• frequent night waking (every 30-40 minutes) needing help to go back to sleep, either with dummy, stroking face, shushing, rocking next to me or as a last resort holding him
• waking after 30 minutes if napping in cot.

Some nights the only way we can get some sleep is to hold him while the other sleeps. We have tried co-sleeping but I'm getting no real rest from this either as I’m scared that I’m so exhausted something awful will happen.

Ive tried the following different things…

• following wake windows
• following tired cues
• trying to put down drowsy but awake, generally just results in a very tired very upset baby
• rocking to sleep
• a nap schedule (which was 9.00-9.30 nap in cot, 11.45-1.30/1.45 nap out walking in the pram was the only way to achieve this one, nap in car or contact nap around 4.00-4.30 again car contact nap was the only way to achieve the nap)
• white noise
• making sure not too hot/cold
• swaddle bag with arms tucked in
• Sleep bag with arms out
• dummy
• music
• feed to sleep/not feeding to sleep
• dream feed
• tilting next to me
• leaving to self soothe when wakes crying (just results in him being inconsolable)

I’m sure there are other things I’ve tried and given up with because absolutely nothing seems to help with the constant wake ups. Please help, is there something I’ve not thought of? I feel like I’m doing everything wrong.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far!

At 6 months we used a sleep consultant to help with similar issues.
We had a bedtime routine of milk, bath, into pjs, story time, into sleeping bag and into crib saying night night. White noise and a pitch black room.
We also got rid of his dummy and moved him to a crib in his own room. We did the chair method to get him settled.
I think bro g in his own room with more space in the crib to get comfy and getting rid of the dummy all really helped.
Plus establishing a good bedtime routine is important so they know it’s time for sleeping and what to expect.

It's so hard with a poor sleeper.

For naps, neither of mine would entertain the cot at 6 months. If he'll nap in the pram but wakes up when it stops, have you tried a RockIt? We got ours secondhand, and it was great for DD2, ten minute walk to get her off, then she'd sleep in the garden or hallway with the RockIt jiggling away. Or if he'll nap in a sling/carrier, he can nap on you and you can do a bit more.

For nights, for now can you do shifts? So if he sleeps 8-6, one of you does 8-1 and the other 1-6, so you each get a solid block of sleep (ideally in a different room). Or some nights on, some nights off, if that works better for you. I also relate to baby wanting to co-sleep, but it initially making my sleep worse because I was so worried. I did adjust, although perhaps try a week or two of shift sleeping first so you aren't quite as exhausted. It's easier when it's a bit warmer and it's easier for you to stay warm without any duvet or blanket.

Hi, thanks so much for your replies. It can feel really lonely when all you hear about is other babies sleeping through so thanks for sharing your experiences. I know wakings are developmentally normal but I just need one short stretch of sleep to survive the days. @skkyelark We had done shifts before but are going to return to them just so we can get that block of sleep each, thank you so much for your advice.
@row23 we’ve taken the plunge and moved him to his own room. I think failing this if things haven’t improved in a couple of weeks we will be seeking a sleep consultant too. Thank you for replying.

This is not for everyone, but my baby was like yours with frequent wake ups all night, and at 6 months and 10 days when i was on the cusp of PPD, we sleep trained her. It worked in 12 minutes the first night and she slept for 7 hours, 7 minutes the second night and she slept for 9 hours, and straight to sleep after about 5 days and sleeps 11 hours, usually straight through, with the occasional night wake up where she usually goes back to sleep in a few seconds or if she needs us to resettle her it usually takes one visit and she's back to sleep in 2 minutes. We used a method with lots of checks to comfort her if she cried, we went in after 2 mins and stroked her belly until she settled, then 2.5 mins if she cried again, the 3 mins etc and the idea is that you add 30 seconds on to each visit until you get to 5 mins and then keep going back after 5 mins if they still cry. But we've never got to 5 mins as it worked so quickly and easily with her. But i realise it will not work for all babies, and not all parents are able to do it, since it means making the decision to let your child cry, even if not for long. It was a tough decision to arrive at and i am so grateful it was so straightforward and easy with our little girl. She's now 15 months and still sleeping great.