Personality or diagnosis 2 year old

[Firsttimemum246]

Hi there

Would love to hear other perspectives and experiences - is this my son’s personality or should I be seeking support?

My just turned 2.1 year old has always been his own man. Very independent as a baby, would go off exploring in baby groups, didn’t get separation anxiety until 9 months (but then got it with a vengeance!). Very strong opinions about activities and definitely more interested in gross motor than fine motor skills. Playground over staying indoors any day.

He’s just moved to the toddler room at nursery and we’ve received his settling in report. He’s younger than they usually have down there (he went down at exactly 2 whereas they normally go at 2.3/4. The nursery have flagged that he doesn’t always answer to his name. This is something I’ve noticed too, but have always put it down to him not wanting to do whatever I’m about to ask him to do(!) and wanting to get on with things.

they have also said that he needs to work on playing with others but in my experience he’s a real social butterfly. He initiates games though they usually involve chasing or imitating each other. Eg he will stamp his feet or bang something and want the other child to copy. He also initiates hugs with his cousin and they run around happily together.

He’s definitely a sensory seeker. He enjoys jumping and climbing and sometimes jumps onto his knees. He also really loves water play and doesn’t get bothered for a long while despite his outfit being wet. He sometimes asks for his nappy changed but also if he’s having fun he’ll object to it loudly.

He also does have an eye for detail - he’ll see a dig really far away and point it out or hear a siren before we do.

fine with transitions, food, sleep,adores music and singing and dancing, doesn’t have big meltdowns, kicks his legs when excited but not in any way that seems atypical compared to others. Loves books, one of the only ways to get him to stay still, and language seems pretty normal, not advanced, not behind. Chatty.

Any views/experiences? The main thing for me is if there’s something we can help him with now I’d want to start doing it, but up until now I’ve been fairly sure it was just his iron will, but nursery have put me in a bit of a tailspin.

thanks!

Oh yes I should also say following instructions is NOT his strong suit. He would clap/wave etc on demand pretty early, probably 9/10 months but instructions like “come here” or “get your shoes” he won’t listen to unless he wants to. This is partly why I’d assumed the not responding to his name was a choice.

Also is there any support he would actually need to access at this point, given his speech and language is fine? An OT for sensory seeking?

No expert here, I'm up late because I'm worried sick about mine- this is your thread though so nevermind that (I'm a worrier)- just to say I can relate to your tailspin!
Your little one sounds GREAT, very active little fella and certainly like a hardy soldier just getting on with things and exploring the world! To me, he sounds just perfect- he is two and seems like he is fine for language understanding/talking and is already showing interest in other kids. my advice: now that someone has planted the seed of worry in your head- creches see many kids but they are far from being experts: Go get an expert opinion (paediatrician checking his development or something). That is great for putting your mind at ease and they know what to look for! IF they feel some sort of intervention would benefit, they will tell you for sure.

As said above I’m no expert but I have a DS who’s 20mo and X2 nephews who are almost 3 and 22mo all boys and they absolutely love chasing each other and playing snatch toys off each other and jumping on things , hit and miss if they respond to name while busy playing , the almost 3 year old is absolutely obsessed with bugs and digging in dirt and I mean totally obsessed with it , one is obsessed with balls just typical boys I think :/ your little man sounds great - he’s only 2 !! X

I think that as Nursery have brought up a couple of issues and you're saying that he doesn't always respond to his name or instructions, I'd do this simple SLT progress checker first.

Do you have a 2 year check in your area?

Thanks so much, I’ve done the test and all looked fine. His speech and language is bang on average for a boy his age I think, just starting to use constructs like “I”, so “I want porridge” or a favourite “mummy sit down and kick your legs” (he enjoys us doing that together). He made us laugh the other day when the food went into the auto cat feeder and he called “come, Bridget”

I’ve been reflecting on it and he’s a very very busy boy - so interested in his environment- and he’s the youngest in his new room, he has access to the outside for the first time, and I think he might just be getting lost in the hubbub with much older children who aren’t that interested in him. I can also imagine him “opting out” of any of the fine motor activities they do at the tables. I’m going to see if I can pop into nursery with him and observe. I think I was harsh about the following instructions too. He’s really good at it if you ask him to point at something or do something in the immediate area, or sing a particular song or open his mouth or something. The problem is if you said to go to get something from an adjacent room or even across the room he’d get distracted on the way.

We do have a 2.5 year check and I looked at it a couple of months ago and he was scoring well on the ASQ. I am also going to ask for an ASQ-SE just in case. But I have noticed at nursery they do sometimes call him his full name too which he’s never called at home so it’s possible it’s that, plus a noisy room.

Whatever it is, I honestly can’t think what any support would look like at the moment given his speech and language is on track (though any suggestions appreciated), so I’ll ask nursery to make sure he’s involved in play with others and just see how we go…