What is going on with my 4 year old?

[ninjamumm]

He has always been challenging compared to his sister but his behaviour recently has led me and DP to really question whether he has some behavioural problems.

He doesn't listen , is very hyperactive, doesn't keep still unless on his iPad, gets very emotional, demanding , moody and aggressive , stomps feet, tells us he hates us all the time, winds his sister up constantly and takes her dummy. He repeats himself a lot, 'can we do this can we do this' etc. also he is very sensitive to things such as brushing his hair/ teeth and screams when I do it, and is very particular with things such as will only eat red/purple coloured sweets ...

I feel awful saying this but he makes life really difficult. We're away on holiday at the moment and all we've done is tell him off the whole time. We are mentally drained.

The more we tell him off the worse he gets but I don't know how else to deal with the awful behaviour. Especially out in public.

His teacher says he's amazing in school and we were in the process of having him tested for ADD a few years ago but it was dismissed due to his teacher having no concerns.

Anyone have any advice ?

[CadyEastman]

I'm not sure you can be assessed for ADHD at 4 can you? I thought that was very unusual?

But I would not put too much store in what his Teacher said. My DS managed 14 years at school without anyone spitting that he had ADHD. And DD 10 years. I'd even had the school SENCO laugh when I brought up the possibility.

What is clear from your post is that you're all really struggling.

For now I'd read The Explosive Child and when you're back from holiday fill in the 48 month Social & Emotional Ages & Stages and see if that suggests he needs some more support.

If he's repeating phrases over and over I'd also do this simple SLT progress checker.