Does anyones 3 nearly 4 year old push other children constantly

[laughalot]

My ds is 3 will be 4 in july he has issues pushing other children. He is in fulltime nursery and his teachers have picked up on it aswell they say he seems to get flustered in a group and tends to push kids to get out. He hasnt hit/bitten any children but even so I dont find pushing acceptable. I dread going to birthday parties for the fear off him pushing someone. Anyone ............

my ds1 used to push younger kids

we bollocked him big time and he stopped

old techniques are sometimes the best

good luck

My nearly 4 year old did this a lot last year, at about 3.5. I didn't see it but pre-school kept reporting it to me. We used to tell her off quite firmly but she kept doing it. It was harder for me to deal with as she was always angelic when I was watching, but I did encourage preschool and other carers to treat it seriously.

she seems to have grown out of it. fortunately.

DS1 (age 4) has never been really rough, but DS2 (age 2.6) is currently going through a stage of pushing when he doesn't get his own way (usually with his brother).

We are clamping down on it quite hard as we feel he is old enough to learn that it is wrong. We use time out, and make him apologise for his behaviour and to the person he has hurt.

I think your DS would respond well to this given his age.

Yes we used time out. And I encouraged preschool to do it, though they didn't usually do that with the others, they were happy to do it with my permission. We did take it seriously.

at parties, I would keep a close eye on the child and take them out of the party for 3 minutes every single time they pushed or hit.

Is it poosible your ds is having trouble communicating with his peers? Maybe the nursery could work on this.

Coastalmum school have said that he is struggling a bit socially he dosent know how to approach children and ask to play however I dont see many 4 year olds saying to one another can I play they tend just to join in.

I have a class of 3-4 yr olds. Our SALT came in and taught us how to teach basic communication skills (turn-taking, attention, listening and language). It was amazing after 5 half hour sessions all the kids showed huge improvements.

I still find it hard as an adult to go up and talk to mum's in my dc's playground. I think social skills are the hardest thing we have to learn.

Costalmum I could chat to you all day long. I think there is so much pressure for children at school to be perfect and textbook. He did struggle a bit with his speech he could talk but wasnt perfect he is a good talker now thanks to nursery it seems to have bought him on no end. I think that he is just taking a bit longer than others to get his head round the social thing. We dont have that many children round to play either but in the summer im going to make it priority that we have playdates. I have a dd who is 1 and he plays ok with her he pushes every now and then but generally isnt too bad. My ds loves school and sometimes I feel he does it when hes excited if that makes sense.

I'm very lucky to work in a nursery (which my kids attended/attend) where more time and money is concentrated on promoting communication rather than numbers and letters.

Lots of parents/schools/doctors put to much emphasis on speach rather than understaning and comprehension.

Turn taking games are a brilliant way to encourage positive communication. You could also try everytime your ds pushes to talk through an alternative way to deal with a situation, explain why a simple sentence such as 'can I have the spade please' will be more successful.

As you said it maybe that your ds just gets too excited, I had to teach my ds1 (now 6) to stop and count to 3 before he acts or speaks when he's excited (he's still working on this!!!)

my ds started a new school and in the first couple of days had about three fights and was pushing etc. We bollocked him as well and acted extremely shocked and disappointed. What seemed to work though was telling him he had to use his words instead and did a bit of role play with him about what to do if you want to play with something that someone else has got or vice versa. I remind him when I drop him off to use his words and play nicely. Had no probs since, but they do go through these stages, all his friends have as well.

My DS has just been told that if he pushes/hits again, he is out of the school as there has been 2 complaints from parents! The teachers say it is aggressive behaviour but know that he is not aggressive - he is simply trying to get in with his peers. He is at an Int. school, is now 4.5yrs and had language delay but is fast improving since seeing a language therapist since september. We are devestated as the school are convinced (without saying ) that he is autistic but our language therapist who has worked with hundreds of autistic children in the past 25 yrs is 100% convinced he is not. He just gets overexcited when he is around children his own age and resorts to pushing. We have now taken him out of school and he doesn't know yet. Luckily we have been on holiday for 3 wks so he thinks we are still on holiday. DH wants to take legal action against the school!

Just want to know how is your son doing now? My son has the same behaviour .