To what extent can the ADHD/Dyspraxia label help? How much can it stigmatise the child/blame the parents etc??

[MissChief]

rather to hear that ds (7) has strong indications of ADHD and dyspraxia and wondering waht we do now, where we go with it. live in small place nad it's hard to keep secrets round here but i also don't want him to be labelled as the weird kid in his class. We want to play it down so that he does manage to keep/build existing friendships yet I'm increasingly finding it difficult/impossible to keep the lid on it withouht explaining what's up with ds. to be honest I'm at the end of my tether, I need to tell people That's why it's been so bloody diffiuclt all this time, that's why he struggles, seems so unhappy but i realise the risks of outing him may not outweigh the benefits. got this is a middle-of-the-night ramble. will go now. but any postings welcome, thanks!

hi, its hard to digest the info yourself to even begin to be able to explain to others. I think the label does help you to research the condition and find helpfull advice etc on how best to help them. Re: other people it only seems to help if they know something about the condition in the 1st place or they do seem to just write it off as bad parenting. But then hey do you want DS around them, it works both ways. I kept a lid on DS 7(ASD) for a long time trying to squash poor DS in the NT box which just didn't fit . I think the key for me was not to care what other people think which was definately easier said than done. But I actually found my strange behaviour trying to keep a lid onit made poor DS worse. He actually picked up on my anxiousness and discomfort, which made him more hyper and worse behaved. Kids are kids and i'v been told often that my DS is better behaved than many NT kids. The children realise he is different and they accept thats just how he is and most never ask for an explanation or are happy with a simple one. His behaviour is part of him and his personality which can be challenging, very charming and good fun.

I think it should be useful in terms of the school now needing to put him on the special needs register (if he isn't already) - and they will have to put an individual education plan in place so that his individual targets can be met and they will need I imagine to give him a bit of extra help, which can only be a good thing!

That's how I would put it to people if you DO feel you need to explain - you could just say how glad you are to have found out about his ADHD/Dyspraxia because he will get a little more help now.

I think if you are matter of fact about it and don't treat is as any big deal then hopefully others would follow...and I would have a chat with the teachers to re-assure yourself that they will keep a beady eye out to make sure that no teasing or bullying goes on from the other kids

I was worried about labels, too, and resisted schools suggestions to begin with. But consider that getting help from outside the school can take a LONG time (may depend on where you are, but shortage of OTs here meant 2 yrs waiting) and help is better sooner than later- esp true, I think, of dyspraxia. DS now reproaches me with not getting a DX sooner! He's 12. It hasn't really been a big deal with classmates etc, it's not that unusual these days. It has definitely helped, not o nly because he gets help, but because he and everyone now know there's a reason for how he is (v untidy, totally illegible handwriting) and it's not laziness or stupidity.

ds has a DX of dyspraxia and because he has it the RAF pays for 10 hours of 1 to 1 support for him in school.

Because of this he is making huge progress, has gone up more than a year in reading age since Sept when the help was put in place for him. His is now able to access far more of the school curriculum without support.

It has been a godsend, but I remember the 'kick in the stomach' feeling when we got the DX

"It's not a "label" it's a "diagnosis" and a diagnosis is the gateway to therapy and services which can change your child's life."

I read this comment by r3dh3d on another thread recently and couldn't agree more, please don't let the ignorance of others get in the way of DS getting the help he needs.

i see what you mean, problem is that at his age (7) seems to be a reluctance to say "the diagnosis is x", instead we're hearing "strong indicators of ADHD/dyspraixa" - does this mean the same thing? does it depend who's saying it? is one professional's adhd another professional's aspergers etc. From what I've read so far there's a considerable debate to be had here, much blurring between different definitions and no true consensus. Unless it's just ds and his conditions aren't sufficiently severe to get a 100% definite diagnosis? Not sure yet, awaiting consutlation with paed.

yes, i think there is a lot of blurring , and (IMO) any 'DX' is actually shorthand for 'has many of the indicators typically associated with x'- which is sensible because any solution needs to be focussed on what difficulties your ds actually has, it's not like there's a standard treatment for 'adhd' etc- just approaches to helping with different problems. But the shorthand is helpful for the reasons given here.

ds was given a formal diagnosis of dyspraxia at 6.

so were you categorically told "ds has dyspraxia"? if so, by whom? Soprry to be pedantic, but am getting confused - do we hold off on thinking he "has" these conditions (which the ed pysch told us "he has strong indicators of" ) until a medic actually states he has the conditions??

an Ed Psych gave us a formal diagnosis.

The assessment took a morning, with information gathered from the school and from us in advance.

Ds was tested. The Ed Psych gave me a short outline of his findings at the end of the morning, and we had the full report within 2 weeks.

and FWIW ds isn't that affected. His problems are real and persistant, but I have seen a lot worse (I teach in secondary)