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Behaviour/development

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Bullying or my child too soft?

3 replies

RachaelT · 18/03/2024 06:36

Last week we had parents evening, overall good but DD (5, reception class) apparently can’t sit still and lacks self regulation skills. Nothing we don’t know, she’s an emotional soul (just like me), we’re working on getting her to take a deep breath and calm down and talk about what’s happened.

Anyways, over the last week or so she’s become very fixated on mum and dad leaving her, like permanently. We’ve talked about when we go to work and she goes to school that it’s temporary and we’ll be back together later that day. Just reassuring her that we ain’t going anywhere anytime soon. She knows there’s a little bit of us inside her heart (DNA right) that means we’re always with her.

Last night, at bedtime she starts again so I reassure her, but then she throws a curveball: a kid in her class has been saying they want her dead, in fact everyone wants her dead and that’s why she won’t see us again. I know they are just little kids saying things they don’t understand, but DD has woken up terrified in the middle of the night that we won’t be there.

The same kid has been seen hitting and biting others, and has already been moved away from DD on the carpet due to slapping her - it was at pick-up and DH/dad saw.

I’m going to speak with teachers today, but this is more than my daughter not self-regulating isn’t it? I am trying to get her to say something along the lines of “those are not kind words, they hurt” but it’s hard for her to remember in the heat of the moment.

OP posts:
Nimko777 · 18/03/2024 08:27

That is so heartbreaking, especially for a little girl to hear! I can understand being an emotional soul as i am the same, and comments like this will have definitely impacted her. What you are doing so far is great. Reassuring her is the best you can do. Definitely have a word with the teacher/head and mention how it has affected your daughter. Also, have others made the same comment as you mentioned she believes everyone wants her dead? Such a horrible thing for a child to say, a 5 year old shouldn't be speaking like that and most probably has heard it from someone else. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Honestly can feel her pain as an emotional person myself ❤️

skkyelark · 18/03/2024 08:45

I'd agree, that's definitely one to have a word with the teacher about, not your daughter being 'too soft'.

RachaelT · 18/03/2024 09:18

Nimko777 · 18/03/2024 08:27

That is so heartbreaking, especially for a little girl to hear! I can understand being an emotional soul as i am the same, and comments like this will have definitely impacted her. What you are doing so far is great. Reassuring her is the best you can do. Definitely have a word with the teacher/head and mention how it has affected your daughter. Also, have others made the same comment as you mentioned she believes everyone wants her dead? Such a horrible thing for a child to say, a 5 year old shouldn't be speaking like that and most probably has heard it from someone else. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Honestly can feel her pain as an emotional person myself ❤️

No, it’s the same little boy who says everyone wants her dead. We’ve reminded her that she has lots of friends and they love her very much.

Their teacher is going to have a word with them both, but if it continues I’ll be speaking with his parents.

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