My child is horrible

[needadvice29]

I don't know what to do anymore.

My 9 years old daughter is just horrible, from the second she wakes up until she goes to bed everything is a fight. She answers back, is extremely rude, moans about every single thing. In school she seems to get easily jealous of others and so is mean to them or mean about them to me. She had an issue every day with someone different and brings it up multiple times over the next few weeks. Anything she wants she gets but it's never enough.

I just can't cope anymore with how rude and horrible she is. What do I do.

When I ask her why or what she just says she doesn't know, will be good for a day then revert back to previous behaviour.

Oh gosh this sounds very draining. I'm so sorry.

I'm a few years behind you, haven't had to deal with anyone approaching double figures so can't speak from experience. However I've had some amazing success with my (admittedly younger) children after reading 'How to talk so kids will listen' and 'calmer, happier, easier parenting'. Both of them focus a lot on giving attention to the behaviours you want to see, (i.e. complimenting the absence of the negative) in a bit to encourage more of that behaviour rather than rewarding less than ideal behaviours with our attention. i.e. you find something she hasn't whinged about, and you notice it. I spend a lot of time saying 'I notice you're speaking to me in your normal voice, it's so nice to listen to you when you speak to me like this', in a bid to get rid of the whinging tone which is like nails down a chalkboard. Has worked with my oldest, work in progress with the little one, but she is still only a tiddler.

Might be worth a go?

My little boy is 5 and his behaviour is the same but he is physically aggressive the school got me into NVR and it's basically a group to help if your child just isn't listening or acting up and they give really good tips it was my son's key worker from school who got me into it I would ask to maybe be reffered to something like that at the start I was like how anything like this is going to help him but honestly some things did help you should as if the has like 1 to 1 teachers and get them to talk to her why she's acting like This I've got a 1.1 teacher for my son and honestly shes amazing updates me if he tells her how he's feeling because he doesnt talk much about his feelings to me but honestly if your really struggling i would go into the school ask how they can help you because maybe if she knows the school is now involved and knows how she's acting she might change her attitude.

Hope your ok.

Thank you both for the helpfully advice, I think part of why I struggle is because she is very very dramatic about every single thing in life. She lies a lot so I don't trust or believe a word she says. Which is tough because I want to protect her and make her happy, I want to trust her but not at the moment.

I can try to focus on positive behaviour and praise for this. she has struggled since her younger siblings have came along but we spend most of her time catering to her needs and tip toeing around her. I worry about her mental health

I know this is an old thread. I'm so sorry OP, I had to double check that this wasn't something I'd posted but forgotten about.
I have just had the worst evening and she's 14. It's basically been going on since she was 2 as her baby brother was born.
I'm exhausted, drained and sad.,

@needadvice29 I know this thread is old and I hope that things have improved a bit for you. Have you ever read The Explosive Child? It may help 

@Namechangeessential it might be worth starting your own thread in the Teenagers Section?