8 month old - will it get better?

[Boymumma23]

Please be kind as I’m feeling pretty isolated and low at the moment. My DS is nearly 8 months old and for the past few weeks he’s done nothing but moan, scream, shriek, whinge or cry. I know it’s his only way of communicating with me but I feel like such a failure because I honestly don’t know why he’s so unhappy. Or how to make him happy!

We play with toys, we go on walks, we sing, we dance and go to baby groups but nothing seems to be working for longer than 10 minutes. It’s got to the point that I’m even anxious about walking out with him because he will randomly just shout, scream then cry in the pram. Sensory was his favourite class for weeks but It’s turning into a far from enjoyable experience for both of us.

He goes in the high chair, he screams. Nappy change, he cries. Jumperoo, moaning after 5 minutes. Playing with toys, done after 5 minutes. The only time he’s content at the moment if I’m holding him and walking around. Obviously I can’t do this all day :(.

I don’t have many mum friends but the small handful have very placid and content babies. My DS has always been a sensitive soul but I’ve always managed to distract him or keep him at bay. His naps have gone to pot recently and my only saving grace is that he’s sleeping well at night. He has no teeth yet and no obvious signs of teething.

My OH is understanding and helpful but he works full time and can only do so much. My DS is of course really happy and content when we visit family etc.

I hate this feeling of not enjoying parenting but I’m getting so overwhelmed that I’m already dreading tomorrow.

What’s going on? Will this get better? :(

I found 8 months to be quite hard both times because they’re on the cusp of being mobile and more communicative but they’re not quite there yet, which frustrates them. Is he teething? How are the solids going?

@GoodnightAdeline He’s chewing lots, dribbling etc but I can’t feel or see any teeth coming through. No red cheeks. He absolutely loves his food - solids especially. But he screams for more and then cries when he’s finished. It worries me how much he eats to be honest, I don’t think he knows when he’s full! It never use to be like this. I know he’s getting more frustrated not being able to crawl yet.

You sound like you’re doing a great job - you’re doing loads of activities with him from what you write. I remember mine getting a bit fussy and restless before fully mobile - it’s a frustrating time for them (and you).
You mention your son being happy when you visit family. Could you ramp up those visits a bit? Company for you or if you feel you can/they are willing then leave DS with them for a few hours so he gets used to others and you get a break.

Mine little boy was the exact same at that exact age and I remember constantly feeling ok edge as to how I could possibly please him. I understand how you feel. But I can honestly say it will get better. He is now 19 months old and completely different. I'm not saying it's going to take another 9 months for it to get better, I can't remember the exact point it did - it was just gradual. Honestly put headphones in put your favourite tunes on go out for a walk get a baby carrier easy stroller or even one of those backpack carriers and screw what anyone thinks 😊

Sometimes they can have teething pain well before you can see or feel anything. I'd get some anbesol (gel or liquid; liquid is easier to apply, but gel is harder to spill) and rub a little on his gums. If he's suddenly happier 10 minutes later, it was (at least partly) teeth.

Some babies do eat an absolutely amazing amount, especially if they're about to have a growth spurt. Unless you have a specific reason to worry he'd overeat, like he's eating until he's sick, I'd let him fill his boots, as long as it's healthy and has a bit of variety.

The crawling frustration is hard. Distraction took the edge off it sometimes. Everyone talks about how much harder it is once they're mobile, but personally, I found a crawling baby loads easier than a desperately frustrated one.

My DD is also 8 months and I'm going through very similar to what you are with your little one.
She has been shrieking for a good few months at absolutely nothing in particular and most of the time, it is shrieks of delight. The screams are absolutely ear piercing though and go right through us.
We go to baby groups and she screams very loudly but luckily most parents make a joke out of it but it has got to me at times too as I always feel like my DD is the only baby making noise and all the other babies are content.

I have noticed that the screams are happening more frequently when she has her fingers/toys in her mouth - so I do think it is caused by her teeth coming through and because she's also trying to communicate. At first, I thought it couldn't be her teeth as I couldn't see anything cutting through but I think it was the gums causing the pain before the teeth started making an appearance- she has 8 teeth now and she does get more loud when she has pain.

When nothing is helping my daughter with the shrieking and I've ran out of ideas, I put Hey Bear sensory on YouTube and just like magic I get 5 minutes peace.

I found with both my kids 8 months was when they came like this (my youngest is 11months old so we are still in this phase). Unfortunately all completely normal in my experience. They are much more aware of the world and want to do EVERYTHING but can’t really do anything, that makes them frustrated. It definitely got me down first time around this time I know it’s just a season you need to get through to get to the better stuff (my daughter is now 3.5 and she is just wonderful). In terms of the being held walking around I got this hippy chick hip seat and it is AMAZING, takes the weight off your back and allows you to at least be comfortable. We have an array of baby carriers but for at home for quick up and downs this is the best.

https://www.hippychick.com/shop/hippychick-hipseat-baby-carrier/?attribute_pa_relationship=coffee&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwzN-vBhAkEiwAYiO7oD9m27Wzzp0TE_9yuTsPls8KNiF3nBaJLl0wx1-Ph9uexIVllSc4IBoC9lMQAvD_BwE