Worried about my 10 month old having ASD

[Sazzle87]

Hello.
I have a 10 month old and am really worrying about him having ASD. I know it is not the end of the world but I have general anxiety anyway and I’m finding it hard to enjoy him because I spend all my time worrying.

I have a older son who I also worried about but he seems to be ok (though we are on a waitlist for him to be seen re ASD) but the first person who saw him around 2 was convinced he was not.

My 10 month old is a crap sleeper. He slept fine until the 4 month regression and now he has such bad separation anxiety that he wakes up 3 or 4 times a night…
he doesn’t clap/ wave or point yet and I don’t think he gives great eye contact. He does answer to his name mostly and smiles, giggles and gives high 5s and seems interested in us and his brother but I don’t get the stares that you expect from a baby and he doesn’t ever try and copy me or really look at me when we read books or sing nursery rhymes.

another thing is when he is excited (like in his high chair) he twirls his hands and kicks his legs. He sometimes does it when I read to him or is out in the buggy.

he does babble- mama, dada, baba etc and is interested in toys and crawls and loves baby classes and eating.

I just feel like I can barely cope with having children and I honestly don’t think I can cope with his additional needs.

I don’t know whether my concerns are valid or whether it is my anxiety or even PND??

My husband shares the load but he never really wanted a second child so I feel like it’s all my fault.

has anyone else felt like this?!

It’s always valid to have concerns if you notice something with your child. But, I do think he sounds very normal and nothing necessarily points to ASD or anything else. It’s always good to remember that all babies develop differently so it can be unhelpful and cause more anxiety when we think our baby does something and other babies don’t. Also, sometimes they do things for a period of time and then stop. For example my little one is 1 now but at around 10 months he started being fascinated with his hands again for a couple of weeks. Then he stopped being bothered about his hands and has moved on to shaking his head. I imagine in a few weeks he’ll be doing something else. So it’s easy to jump to conclusions when we see a behaviour, but that behaviour very likely will change.
It’s basically impossible at this age to diagnose anything as so much of that babies do could be ‘signs’ of other things.
You say you’re struggling to cope, so I think it may be best to speak to someone. Being a parent is hard, let alone with worrying about how your baby is developing. Perhaps call your health visitor and they should reassure you regarding your babies development. Then also call your doctor and see if they can provide some help with anxiety. It’s hard to spend your days struggling to cope and worrying, but you don’t have to be like that.

Agree with above. Op you ate valid to be concerned.
I was with DS as he started to talk at 9months saying Mama, baba, Bird, Bye and dog. But at 11 months he stopped everything even waving. That was the only red flags. We spoke to HV and Language team attended groups and they all said he was fine. But a regression is a massive sign for ASD. He didnt resume talking until 19months!!! And I am very hands on. We read books all the time, we do activities all day I did everything they said and more. But then he startes to speak at 19months and he caught up and has surpassed his peers.
I worried myself silly. And your DS is lucky to have a mother who cares so much.

I have friends who have DC with ASD and there is a wide spectrum. One of my friends didn't find out until her DC was 9 as his ASD was very "minimal" and he was able to adapt and hide it. Having ASD doesn't mean the end or a difficult life. There are loads of fully functioning adults who have ASD they have relationships and good jobs to. Sot even if it is ASD it isn't all doom and gloom. finding out early is very beneficial for all of you if it is the case.
All the best.