Hi. I’m looking for maybe some advice or even for people to share similar experiences so I know I’m not alone with this.
I have 2 children. My oldest son is 7 years old. He has always been a really chatty, confident child that would be left anywhere and with anyone. As a toddler he would talk to anybody, child or parents, at the parks and when he started pre school he toddled in without a care in the world, excited to make new friends. He’s still very much the same now at 7.
My youngest son is 18 months old, he has a different father to my first child. I am still with DS2’s father and he lives with us. My partner has two children, twin boys, aged 9 from a previous relationship.
My 18 month old has been clingy for as long as I can remember. I had pregnancy complications with my waters breaking prematurely at 23 weeks and I had to be monitored throughout. He was born by induction at 37 weeks and I developed sepsis in labour and had to stay in hospital. As a baby in hospital he spent most of the time lay on mine or his dads chest so perhaps this is where it stemmed from?
My son won’t let anyone, nobody, near him, other than me, his father or my eldest son. At home he’s cheeky, funny, has a great personality and of course tantrums the same as any other toddler. However, when he’s out or someone else is here it’s a different story.
I recently had a little small party for my eldest for his 7th birthday, which I invited my dad, his wife of over 15 years and my big brother to. My youngest son was hysterical, even in my own home, at them being there. I barely got to spend any time with my eldest son on his birthday as I had to spend it consoling my hysterical 1 year old. When I visit my dads house he acts the same. He screams and cries hysterically when I go downstairs for something and leave him with my dad for a moment. He won’t let my dad or his wife pick him up. He even cried when we went to Tesco where my big brother works, and when he saw my brother he screamed at the check out.
My friend visited with her young children, and though he was fine with the children, he cried hysterically at my friend and wouldn’t let her anywhere near him. He does this with everyone.
As of recently, due to no time together ever at all because we can’t leave our son anywhere, my relationship is at breaking point. Me and my partner get no time together at all. I can only schedule one on one days with my eldest son when my partner is off work to take my youngest because he won’t be left with anybody else. I have my own business and work from home so I’m home with my youngest 7 days a week, and his dad works long 12 hour shifts. I’d love some time to myself as I’m now becoming extremely drained and just starting to recover from a year of horrific anxiety disorder and panic attacks.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t go anywhere without him clinging onto me for life and screaming at everyone. He won’t bond with my dad which is upsetting and he won’t socialise. I don’t get a moment to put him down on the floor to toddle around when I’m out. Me and
my partner have no time together and I don’t get any form of a break. I love my son so much my heart could burst but I’m so tired and just want some time to be me.
Does anyone have any advice?