Feeling like a terrible Mum 😢

Flopsy2807 · 2024-02-28T09:11:39+00:00

Morning All, My 7 month old is very clingy. She has been the same since birth and has only been left with her dad a handful of times and with another family member once. This wasn't intentional but until now she has been EBF so has naturally needed to be with me all the time. Over the last week or so, she has been getting worse and worse with separation anxiety. To the point where if I leave the room for a few seconds she really cries. Does anyone have any advice? I feel like I've not got things right and now she's too dependent on me. Thanks x

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 28/02/2024 09:51

Babies come with their own quirks and personalities. My first was very like this, she'd only go to me and her Dad, and him a lot less. She'd scream and cry if anyone else tried to hold her. She was a velcro baby and barley slept for 12 months and a lot of that sleep was on me. It was exhauting in all senses, and I was touched out. Just short of her first birthday she randomly let a granny at a friend's birthday party hold her and she got a loss less clingy over time, she's always going to a cautious and sensitive soul, that's who she is.

Your DD is who she is, she's a baby that needs to be near her primary carer a lot and that is perfectly fine. Some babies need that more than other. You are absolutely doing the right thing by being led by her and giving her what she needs. She may be teething or not sleeping great or be going through a developmental leap and that's making her be more clingy right now. She's telling you in the only way she can what she needs and meeting her needs is absolutely the right thing to do. The only time this is a problem is if you understandably need some time to yourself without a baby on you. Your OH might find that she likes being worn in a sling or baby carrier, but maybe right now she just needs you and that's ok. My 2nd and 3rd babies were nothing like my first, I wasn't a different Mum, I breastfed just as much, they were just different babies with different needs to my first.

Original poster

Flopsy2807 · 28/02/2024 11:10

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 28/02/2024 09:51

Babies come with their own quirks and personalities. My first was very like this, she'd only go to me and her Dad, and him a lot less. She'd scream and cry if anyone else tried to hold her. She was a velcro baby and barley slept for 12 months and a lot of that sleep was on me. It was exhauting in all senses, and I was touched out. Just short of her first birthday she randomly let a granny at a friend's birthday party hold her and she got a loss less clingy over time, she's always going to a cautious and sensitive soul, that's who she is.

Your DD is who she is, she's a baby that needs to be near her primary carer a lot and that is perfectly fine. Some babies need that more than other. You are absolutely doing the right thing by being led by her and giving her what she needs. She may be teething or not sleeping great or be going through a developmental leap and that's making her be more clingy right now. She's telling you in the only way she can what she needs and meeting her needs is absolutely the right thing to do. The only time this is a problem is if you understandably need some time to yourself without a baby on you. Your OH might find that she likes being worn in a sling or baby carrier, but maybe right now she just needs you and that's ok. My 2nd and 3rd babies were nothing like my first, I wasn't a different Mum, I breastfed just as much, they were just different babies with different needs to my first.

Thank you so much for your reassurance 💜

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