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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Sudenly taking against his nursery and getting upset

13 replies

madamez · 25/03/2008 09:57

DS is 3.6 and has been going to the same nursery a couple of days a week for about two and a half years now. Both last week and this morning he has been saying he doesn;t want to go and getting tearful at drop-off time. Previously he had been happy and would come home chattering about his playmates etc. I asked him why he doesn;t want to go but he just says he doesnt want to. ANyone got any ideas on this?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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grouphug · 25/03/2008 10:11

Bless him, I would go and speak to the nursery manager and ask if he is different during the day or has there been any changes that could have upset him. Once the manager is aware you are concerned I am sure they will help you to make your ds happy about nursery again.

amidaiwish · 25/03/2008 11:11

It may be that he is outgrowing it and starting to get bored. I had this with DD2 until they moved her up a room (early).

How long has he been there?

amidaiwish · 25/03/2008 11:12

When you pick him up does he look one of the oldest/biggest?

At this age if there was a problem with a teacher or another child i think he would say, he's old enough to articulate it and young enough to not keep it secret. Would you agree?

PotPourri · 25/03/2008 11:14

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Original poster

madamez · 25/03/2008 12:43

I will have a chat with the manager at pick up time today. He is in the 'oldest' kids room and he isn't the oldest one there - they moved him up a bit early and he seemed to be being very happy there.
Over the past few weeks our weekly routines have been a bit disrupted due to me having a training course and his eye appointment etc, so maybe it's just that he's a bit muddled. I agree that he's old enough to tell me if someone is hurting him: will gently look into it further.

OP posts:

amidaiwish · 26/03/2008 09:13

how did you get on?

Original poster

madamez · 26/03/2008 14:16

He was happy enough at pick up time and in no rush to leave. I spoke to one of the care workers who said that she, too, thought it could be that the disruption in his weekly routine had upset him - apparently he had been a bit tearful at one point and said he wanted his mum but had soon been cheered up with a cuddle and a distraction.
Then at bedtime he told me he was sad and said that [another child] at nursery had hit him. THis isn't the first time he has mentioned this child hitting him, and I have told the nursery about it: it soudns liek there is one slightly problematic child there. However DS then went on in a rather elaborate tale of eveyone hitting everyone else until he was giggling.
I think I need to have another quiet word with nursery manager about possible bullying or rough behaviour [sigh].

OP posts:

amidaiwish · 26/03/2008 14:23

oh dear. well at least you know and can talk to the staff. Are you confident in the staff, that they will nip it in the bud?

seb1 · 26/03/2008 14:25

DD2 is 3.5 and is doing this at the moment, I think it is a phase they go through.

ceebee74 · 26/03/2008 14:30

Interesting thread - my DS has been exactly the same last week and then again today but he is a bit younger than yours (he is only 20 months).

However, it is interesting to read about it being linked to moving up a room - he is still in the 'baby' room and they move up from there between 18months to 2 years depending on the child/spaces so he is due to move in the next couple of months I think - I wonder if he is getting bored then

Have I understood that theory correctly?

Also, when I went to pick him up a couple of weeks ago, he was in the big room (if they only have a couple of 'babies' left at the end of the day, they take them into the big room so they can start cleaning the baby room - he was happily playing and didn't run to me like he usually did - in fact he pretty much ignored me and I had to prise him away from the toys to take him home.

amidaiwish · 26/03/2008 15:24

ceebee74 - definitely yes, both mine have got bored when they were due to move up a room, everytime.

DD2 is now due to move up but can't until someone leaves... some days she goes upstairs (to the next class) and is happy but on days when she is in her normal room she doesn't want to stay. The staff are aware of it and moving her up whenever there is a space, lots of visits etc. and she isn't the oldest in her room, but she is close to her sister (19 months older) so is used to games etc and not interested in playing with shaving foam etc!!

Original poster

madamez · 28/03/2008 21:55

Well apparently he's not being bullied and yesterday said it's that he misses me. Mind you (hopeful emoticon) this evening he said quite happily, 'Go to nursery again soon?' so maybe it's over...

OP posts:

blueshoes · 28/03/2008 22:44

lol, madamez, my dd has phases of being happy to be dropped off and then being teary, for no apparent reason. But always happy to stay once I have left. If you have satisfied yourself with the nursery staff that there is nothing out of the ordinary and ds does not give any specific reason, I would just take it 'one of those things'.

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