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3yr old hitting other children

2 replies

Sallyre · 24/03/2008 18:03

My DS is 3 and a half and has, in the last 2 weeks, starting hitting other children when we go to soft play centres. He isn't doing it at preschool (he goes 5 mornings a week) - just at play places.

The last three times we've been, other parents have come up and told me about his behaviour. I have a 1 year old as well so the 3yr old tends to play unsupervised - he's very confident physically. It's never been a problem before. He went through a phase of hitting when he was 2 but hasn't done anything like this since.

I time him out at the play place. And if he does it more than twice we leave (which drives me nuts as we pay to get in!).

Anyone got any suggestions as to what I can do? We have talked about it and he says he doesn't know why he hits. After time out he promises not to do it again but 10 minutes later another irate mother with a crying child in tow (often about twice the age and size of DS) is telling me to control my kid.

I've tried restricting him to playing in the area where I am with the 1 year old. He's so bloody fast, I can't even get up to the older kid areas before he's off....I try and keep my eyes on him as much as possible but you know what it's like in places like that....

Help! I think if I can't solve this, we'll have to stop going and they are a godsend at the moment. DS is a very energetic boy and needs to be run every day (like a dog!) and with the weather at the moment, parks are out....

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laughalot · 24/03/2008 18:10

I dont really have much advice but just wanted to let you know you are not on your own. Its not hitting with my ds its pushing but unfortunatly my ds does it at nursery too. I think its a very hard age to reason with them but I think by giving him warnings and going if it dosent stop will eventually make him realise. My ds is 4 in july and my dd was 1 in jan so very similar ages to yours x

HonoriaGlossop · 24/03/2008 18:15

I think these soft play places are really difficult actually; kids do feel an inclination to run wilder here than anywhere else IME!

I really feel for you because of course with a one year old as well you just can't go round with your older one.

However I do have to say that IMO a 3 year old does need pretty close supervision in these environments - just because they are 'soft' and 'safe' does not mean they are for unsupervised very young children.

I think if you really want to avoid giving up going, what I would do is a 'twice and you're out' thing. If he hits once, he gets a warning and time out sitting with you; and he goes back in on the firm understanding that he doesn't hit again and that if he were to then you are going to leave.

If he does I think you have to leave, even though that is not the easy option with a one year old and a cross three year old

If you want my honest opinion and what I would do, I think the game is not worth the candle; wrap up in a million layers, buy the kids and yourself all in one waterproofs and go to the park every day unless it's a hurricane

Save soft play for weekends and go if you have a DP/DH to help?

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