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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Arrrrghhhh!

31 replies

thisisthelast · 24/03/2008 16:10

Sorry ti be whinging again but I need to know thi will not last. My 8 month old dd2 is a complete nightmare. She will not sit for more than a minute. Whinges whilst on the floor, cries in the car. I just carry her all bloody day and I am so frustrated and worried that she will never grow out of this. She just screamed for 45 minutes before her nap and refused to give in. I'm so tired and dd1 is missing out on so much too. I am really regretting having another child. Does that sound awful? I really don't know if I am strong enough to do this anymore. HELP!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mankymummy · 24/03/2008 16:13

no it doesnt sound awful, i have no idea how people cope with more than one DC.

is she asleep now?

how long has she been like this for?

is she teething?

can you find some chocolate in the house to eat?!!!

Original poster

thisisthelast · 24/03/2008 16:14

She's always been like it unfortunately. People keep telling me this will pass but I am running out of hope. Eaten so much chocolate it's unbelievable. Yes she's asleep for now!

OP posts:

mankymummy · 24/03/2008 16:21

have you tried cranial osteopathy, i've never tried it but read some threads where some say it has completely turned their DCs around.

juuule · 24/03/2008 16:24

Can you carry her while you do something with your dd? Or maybe sit on your knee while you read a book/paint/colour/do a jigsaw/watch a film with your dd? How old is your older dd?
I've had a couple of children like this. One in particular, I think I carried her around until she could walk at around 15m.
Was she screaming while you were carrying her or because you had put her down for a sleep? Have you tried putting her to sleep in her pushchair, outside in the fresh air? Or take her for a walk to get her off to sleep and then leave her to sleep in the pushchair so as not to disturb her? These things usually worked for mine and sent them off to sleep if they were tired.
Frustrating as it is, it will pass.

Original poster

thisisthelast · 24/03/2008 16:24

Tried it. There was a small strain n her lower back and rib but all sorted now. Made no difference at all. I'm sobbing right now and i can't see an end to it. She is just so hard to please. She demands stimultion, then cries as she's over stimulated. There is no happy medium. Sorry to go on a bit!

OP posts:

Ineedsomesleep · 24/03/2008 16:27

Sounds like you are having a tough time.

If she won't settle without you, have you thought about trying a sling?

Ineedsomesleep · 24/03/2008 16:29

Is there someone you can call and ask to have them for an hour so that you can have a break?

foxythesnowman · 24/03/2008 16:31

Have you tried an activity centre?

CarGirl · 24/03/2008 16:37

is it def not mild acidic reflux (there are no symptoms apart from trapped wind & being miserable)?

Mine all liked those stand up acitivity centres (even the miserable one) have you tried baby einstein videos?????

Really I had one like this (it was silent reflux in the end) and I really didn't like her at all, it was hell - there was no joy in parenting her all those months. YOu have my sympathies and I know how difficult it is to ask someone to look after a miserable baby - not easy is it.

Homestart help via the HV?

Ineedsomesleep · 24/03/2008 17:06

DS was like this too so my sympathies are with you too. All I can say is it does get better.

Apparently I was like that and it turned out I was allergic to lactose.

How are you feeling now? Am feeling pretty worried about you.

foxythesnowman · 24/03/2008 17:13

I found going from 1 child to 2 really, really hard. I beat myself up about DC1, and had a huge sense of guilt. I remember sobbing "I'm sorry" to DC1 one day

At 8 months old they have just stepped up a gear and are much, much harder to ignore. I have just (literally) got an activity centre and she's having her first go in it. And I can put her down! I got it off a friend who paid 99p for it off ebay. I think it will be a huge help.

Take a deep breath and try not to get angry, with LO or with yourself. It WILL change.

Original poster

thisisthelast · 24/03/2008 17:18

I'm ok- please don't worry. She just woke up that's all! Thank you so much for you concern though. I think I'm just incredibly lonely as dh works so much and dd is so hard to be around. So sorry for depressing you all!

Could perhaps be mild reflux, she is fairly windy but is ok to sleep flat at night so hv has dismissed this. What do you think? She used to throw up quite a bit but doesn't always cause discomfort. She doesn't throw up much now though. Just seem generally miserable!

OP posts:

Original poster

thisisthelast · 24/03/2008 17:21

I really don't trust anyone to look after her in case they loose their patience or just blame me for her being this way. I feel like I'm failing!! never had this with dd1!

OP posts:

CarGirl · 24/03/2008 17:25

with acidic reflux they tend not to throw up it is just the acid that travels back up a bit so it is very painful for them.

Original poster

thisisthelast · 24/03/2008 17:28

my health visitor said that she'd scream for hours though if this was the case. mind u, she has told me some rubbish! Also apparently she wouldn't want to lay flat in her cot. im confused!

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CarGirl · 24/03/2008 17:33

well yes that is what my dd was like (but according to my HV it was a touch of colic!) but I just wondered if it was a very very mild case.

I used alternate baby bouncer, stand up activity bouncer, bouncer seat in front of baby einstein etc etc etc

It must be very lonely for you - I went back to work at 6 months for a break from my dd3 (the screamer!)

denbury · 24/03/2008 17:34

sorry have no help for you but am thinking of you.dc2 is b**y hard work and no-one tells you that do they!!!!!!!! people say that number 3 child is better!!!!!!(not going to try though!)

juuule · 24/03/2008 17:36

Do you go out, thisis? If you are feeling lonely things can seem much worse. Are there any groups that you could go to. The trip out might tire your dd aswell.

Original poster

thisisthelast · 24/03/2008 17:41

problem is that when i do go out i just end up carrying dd2 and pacing around with he. She can't sit in her pram or buggy. it always seems bad when dh isn't around thhough!

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juuule · 24/03/2008 17:46

Does she scream when she's in the pushchair while you are pushing her - while out on a walk? Do you have a forward facing pushchair? Sometimes they cry if they can see you.
Even if you have to carry her while you are at a group, then just the fact that you get to speak to people can help. And sometimes, just sometimes, someone will offer to hold your dd for a couple of minutes while you get a cup of tea or something (don't bank on this, though).

Original poster

thisisthelast · 24/03/2008 17:47

she cries in both buggy and pram, not all the time but quite a lot even if it's moving!

OP posts:

juuule · 24/03/2008 17:59

Oh dear, it looks as though you might have to carry her quite a bit then. She will grow out of it, though.
Doesn't she ever go off to sleep in the pushchair?

Original poster

thisisthelast · 24/03/2008 18:01

Rarely! She's normally screamed to be carried by that time! thanks for replying to me, you mnetters are the only adults i've spoken to (typed to!) all day!

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CarGirl · 24/03/2008 18:03

I wish there was something else I could suggest, do you feel like you could ask your HV to be referred to homestart for some weekly help - even if it's just 2 hours of an adult to talk to or help you go out somewhere (shopping!) it's adult company to look forward to?

HonoriaGlossop · 24/03/2008 18:42

Could you get a nursery place for her one or two mornings a week?

It sounds like you badly need a break from her and your DD1 could have some stress free time with mum

It needn't be forever, just while things are so difficult. I think if this was me and it was this bad I wouldn't agonise. You are likely to respond to her more warmly, more lovingly, if you've had some sanity time to re-charge so it's to her benefit as well IMO

Or could you get a childminder for those times? Or a NNEB student from the local college who could come to your home and allow you to go out with DD1?

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