Hi all,
this issue is regarding my sons schooling. From 9 months to just under 3, he attended a childminder which he loved, development was no concern and loved it, when he was 3 in August, he started preschool two weeks later.
He began to hit out and scratch, wouldn’t sit on the mat and just wanted to play. We had a parents evening in October and was told he couldn’t talk properly. All news to us and those around us. We were asked to put him on the SEN register urgently and we decided to just leave its few more months as he had only just started. The following January I called a meeting as he started to come home saying “Hate and smash your head in” so I wanted to feed this back. This was taken over by them saying he had behaviour issues and possibly autism. The sen register was suggested again, we started to complete all the details for for referrals when his behaviour completely improved, he made friends and had no incidents for over two half terms. The last term when transitioning into reception, the behaviour returned. Nothing was done as the headteachers were changing over.
He started school last September and the school wanted to meet right away which we agreed. We set up goals for him and he came back completely different. over the summer, the school had referred him for speech therapy and the therapist could not understand even slightly why and wanted to talk to the school about why he was referred
After October half term his behaviour completely plummeted, we was hitting out, climbing, throwing ect. Would not sit down on the mat which the school have huge issues with. He was suspended for 1 day as the whole day he didn’t do what he was told. The school let him outside to run around without a coat with another child to force him out the classroom.
by Christmas despite us asking for interventions, he was reduced to half days. Again, returned January amazing, they had a new reward system and he loved it, was the first in the class to reach 100 points. His behaviour started to dwindle but not as bad, he can now regulate quite quickly and follows instructions (which was their feedback) however, as soon as he had an off day they reduced him to half days. We have now started back on half days which he hates, they don’t even let him have lunch as they say they don’t have the staff to bring him out afterwards
things to note-
- he is now on the sen register , for social and emotional development, it doesn’t seem to have done much.
- he ONLY behaves like this at school, I have no issues with his behaviour outside of school. I can take him anywhere and he is completely fine. The school don’t accept this
- I have had him assessed at the children’s hospital and local teams.
he has been assessed by a behaviour
expert at school and the advice was
for him to be seen by a complex
communications team. But she did note that he mimics other’s behaviour because of his immaturity, the school refuse to acknowledge this
- we have now sent the school two emails about the report with suggestions and tips, things that might work for him, and his change in hours pattern, no one has replied. It’s almost like they have cut us off
- the year group have over 13 children on part time hours they also have 27 children on the sen register. This doesn’t bother me at all and I am only pointing this out as it seems they can’t cope
- the school have told us that our child needs 1-1 support but after speaking to other parents, it’s extremely hard to get.
- the school have acknowledged that this year group is particularly in need of support that they don’t have. Because our child isn’t diagnosed he isn’t a priority , they said others have more significant needs.
I am really unsure what to do, do I move schools? He loves it there in all honesty but that’s because he is allowed to behave badly. But my biggest reason as a parent is I feel completely cut off from the school. And all we have done is do what they wanted and suggested every step, even when we felt uncomfortable. We have been forced to have him assessed and sign things Ben thought we didn’t want to but we wanted to support the school.
Does anyone have any advice at all???