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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

18mo DS refusing daytime sleep

17 replies

bristols · 23/03/2008 21:16

Help! DS has always slept well, both at night and in the daytime. He would always go into his cot after lunch and sleep for a good 1 1/2 - 2 hours. He was very poorly just beofre christmas and any sort of routine went out of the window. After that, he would go for his lunchtime nap if we rocked him to sleep. At that point, I was happy he was sleeping and it didn't bother me too much. He still settled himself at night.

Now he simply refuses to sleep in the day. Occasionally he falls asleep in the car if we are out but never in his cot. Today we left him for 1 1/2 hours and he protested the whole time. He looked shattered and was definitely tired but he just won't give in.

He gets up at around 6 and goes to bed at about 6.30. I'm sure he is too young to do this without a nap. We run into trouble at bed time because he's so exhausted. He gets very upset.

Any suggestions will be very graefully received. I also have a five week old so I'd really like to get this sorted as soon as possible. TIA

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emkana · 23/03/2008 21:17

My dd2 gave up daytime sleeping at 16 months.

It happens, unfortunately.

Original poster

bristols · 23/03/2008 21:19

But he's so tired and miserable with it! Was your dd?

OP posts:

emkana · 23/03/2008 21:20

It takes some time for them to fully adjust, yes.

You could just try some quiet time where he maybe watches Cbeebies if you'd be happy with that?

Flibbertyjibbet · 23/03/2008 21:23

My ds1 could take long daytime sleeps and also sleep all night.
DS2 stopped napping at about 16m. he does have a bit of chill out time once or twice a day though - will get really miserable and tired, give him a drink/meal/snack and a sit down/cuddle/cbeebies and 10 mins later he is back chasing his brother around.
He had a 40 min nap today and I can hear him still wide awake upstairs.... so I prefer to not try to get him to nap during the day.

Original poster

bristols · 23/03/2008 21:32

Maybe I'll try that then. He's never had the concentration to watch tv before, but tonight he watched a good fifteen minutes of story makers (or something like that)so perhaps I'll try that tomorrow after lunch.

OP posts:

InTheDollshouse · 23/03/2008 22:56

Would he sleep if you lay down and slept with him (if you can get your baby asleep as well)? I haven't experienced a situation like yours but generally my DD is more amenable to sleeping if I sleep with her. And I'm guessing with a 5-week-old you could probably do with a daytime nap yourself.

amytheearwaxbanisher · 23/03/2008 23:10

my ds stopped napping at that age which was a pain as he would be tired and cranky for an hour or so in the day before he got his second wind[and my lazy hour to myself went out the window]but he did get reaaly good at going down at night after a month and slept untill eight/nine in the morning he will find his own routine soon.he does get up on the couch now with a pillow and a bottle for an hour watching cbebbies to recharge

PixelHerder · 23/03/2008 23:10

It's so annoying when they clearly need the sleep but fight it isn't it!

I'd say keep trying - my DD's 20 months although she doesn't nap at a regular time, she usually sleeps at some point during the day (or at least lies down in her cot for a while without too much complaint).

It seems to be most successful to catch her as soon as soon as she appears even slightly tired (often this is mid-late morning) - leave it too long and she goes past it. Or there's often a point much later in the day when she gets clumsy and crotchety, if you ask her if she wants to have a lie down she'll usually say yes (often bribed by the promise of being reunited with her favourite bedtime bunny).

colander · 23/03/2008 23:14

DD1 dropped her sleep at 18m and DD2 at 21m. It happens, unfortunately twice to me.

dingdong05 · 23/03/2008 23:32

My ds stopped napping at about 18 months even though he really needed it- you could see the tiredness by teatime.
I found it much less stressful once I'd accepted the fact he wouldn't sleep, rather than trying to get him to, or stressing that he wouldn't.
I still tried to give him quiet time at lunchtime, but being sensitive to his weariness at teatime did more good, I think.
It took him about a year to get to the stage where he wasn't exhausted by teatime hough

Original poster

bristols · 24/03/2008 21:22

drama - you're right, I could definitely do with a daytime nap myself! It's all so different second time around

He doesn't sleep well with me. He just wants to poke my eyes/stick his fingers up my nose etc if I'm there.

Pixel - I do think that he gets most tired mid morning. If we are out in the car or pushchair at that time he always drops off. Perhaps I should take advantage then?

dingdong - I think you're right. If things don't get better soon, I will just have to accept it and not stress. I can be a bit of a stress head sometimes (as DH will testify!)

OP posts:

julantal · 25/03/2008 00:19

I really feel your pain. I have a 26th month old who at around 18-19mo decided to give up the nap. Agree with Dingdong- once i accepted the fact that she was not going to nap it really made me feel less stressed and i managed my day better. However i still have her go to her room with the door closed and a choice of books to read in her bed for "quiet time" after lunch-time. Heck at times she has even surprised me and feel asleep for 45 min to hour-- but most days she just sits and reads or looks at her babies in bed for about 45 min before she begins to call for me.

Good luck but i would try every day at the same time to take him for a nap no matter what and call it "quiet time" of whatever just to keep the routine and for you to keep your sanity.

good luck

roseability · 25/03/2008 13:49

My DS (23 months) has just stopped napping in the daytime. I am finding it tough as I really valued that time to myself to either sleep or do the things I love doing for myself i.e. reading and writing. I still persist with quiet time though. I put him in his cot and if he won't sleep he will sit quietly and look at books/toys etc. Then at least I get time to write emails go on Mumsnet! Sometimes if I am really tired we cuddle up on the sofa and watch his favourite cartoons for a short spell (I don't generally agree with TV but if it means my sanity is saved!). I think I just had to accept he wasn't going to sleep although initially I found it hard not to get worked up and angry with him. Right now he is in his cot. He was up at 6.30, we have been swimming and he is shattered but still refusing to sleep. I really feel for you with a new baby as well

poodlepusher · 25/03/2008 14:00

I too have an 18 mth old and a new baby. If he won't nap, which sometimes happens, he will sit in his cot with a pile of books, chuntering away as he "reads" them. Its a calm 20-30 mins and sometimes he does fall asleep. Might be worth a try?

Original poster

bristols · 25/03/2008 20:49

I like the idea of him having quiet time in his cot but I'm not sure it would happen! I'll try it but I reckon he'll cry as soon as he goes in there. He may surprise me...

Quiet time on the sofa would be just as good. He did sleep today because we had to go out in the car at midday. He was such a joy this afternoon.

Off to bed now because I didn't get any sleep and I was up most of last night, only getting five hours then. Ugh. Baby very colicky this evening so goodness knows how tonight will be.

Thanks ladies.

OP posts:

dingdong05 · 25/03/2008 22:28

My ds would never sit down either!
I do feel for you, but your delightful little one will return once his energy catches up with him!
All the best x

tania111 · 26/03/2008 21:08

It is really annoying but some children give up day times sleeps early. My son was about 16 months old, which meant he was tired all afternoon. Often I would go for a drive with him, pick up a newspaper and he'd drop off to sleep for half an hour in the car and I'd read the paper. At about 18 months he stopped altogether!

The good thing was he'd sleep longer at night and started sleeping 7.30 to 7.30 having previously got up at 6ish so it was better really!

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