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Spinning out about daughters speech?

6 replies

Anxiousannie777 · 17/02/2024 09:10

Hello!
I’ve been a munsnet hoverer for a long time and it’s helped me in so many ways but this is my first post in the hope of some more direct/targeted reassurance!

my daughter is 20 months old and has about 30 words.
some of these are noises for animals or the names of the dogs/her doll and these are used correctly but most of it is social queues and phrases (hiya, bye, all done, see you soon, high five, night night, cheers, cheese 📸 etc .. often with actions)

she’s good at pointing, raising her arms to be picked up. Comes running arms open when you ask for a cuddle. Gives a kiss when you ask for one. Can bring a ball or a book when asked or will put the balls back in the ball pool when asked. Will sit down when asked.

asks the dog for his paw and tells him to sit. Says no when she doesn’t want something or when she’s telling someone off 😅 says yuk when she doesn’t like something and ‘mm nice” when she does or when she wants something. Ow when she hurts herself. Points to her nose and says nose. Calls her doll poppy.

eye contact is great, very social and seeks out the company of others. Will read a book to her doll (in her own language) but prefers to play with someone.

responds to her name.

babbles endlessly and really does seem to be telling quite dramatic stories but in her own language 😂

she was very early at walking.

my neice is 8 months older and was much slower to walk but has always been ahead with her words etc. it’s hard not to compare the two even though I know the age difference is massive. I find myself trawling videos trying to see where my neice was at the same age.

im a highly anxious person and I can spin out about things. I contacted some speech therapists in the hope that I might put my mind at rest (doctor wasn’t concerned but she did have to check the milestones on her computer because she didn’t know and said bring her back if she doesn’t join words by 24 months).

.. soo the speech therapists haven’t put my mind at rest really. And say she should have 50 words at this point. One has really worried me by saying that a lot of her language seems like learned phrases. The social phrases she uses more out of routine .. like knowing when someone leaves you say bye but not actually knowing what it means. And that this is a learning style some children have which I have of course googled and it can be a sign of autism which I had ruled out up until now to be honest!
she hasn’t seen her in real life as she’s not in the area (I had hoped this would mean impartial advice/not pushing for an appointment) there is a speech therapist near by I am considering an appointment with after an initial phone consultation but I’m scared of being there for an hour and my daughter saying NOTHING and me ending up even more worried!

I am now feeling even worse than before as 60% of the things she said which I clung on to now seem like more of a negative sign.

she doesn’t say things to communicate a need like “more” or “up” but she does use gestures for these. She walked at 11 months so maybe never had to ask as much?

am I being crazy!? I can’t help myself and I’m making myself sick and see myself looking for clues confirming the worst. I just want to fast forward a couple of months to a point where she’s hopefully clearly communicating 🫣

I know a lot of it is an issue with me and my worrying but I just can’t help but spiral and am feeling pretty ill from all of this.

any help or advice or similar scenarios would be amazing.. or just another mum to talk to.

my family and friends all think I’m mad

OP posts:
Jigglypuff87 · 17/02/2024 19:44

At the end of the day worrying about unknowns isn't going to help you or your lovely little one. She's still very little, things can change very quickly. Currently it sounds as she's a little behind (certainly not by that much, i personally wouldn't be that concerned) but its absolutely not the end of the world. Booking a speech therapy appointment sounds like a good idea, if only to make you feel better. They can assess and give you some ideas how to support her going forward. Currently you're spiralling because you don't have any answers and your imagination is getting the better of you. Hopefully a speech therapist can help give you some and put some of your fears in to perspective. If you do go down this route make sure they are registered with the hcpc, you can check their registration on there website.

CadyEastman · 17/02/2024 22:26

I think it might be useful to fill in abc score the 20 month Ages & Stages.

She may be doing as expected but it's hard to say from what you've written.

Are you getting any help with your anxiety too? Flowers

Anxiousannie777 · 19/02/2024 08:09

Thank you both so much for your replies.
i am making an appointment with the therapist (just checked and she is hcpc registered). I was avoiding it a little bit because I was scared she might not say much in the appointment and that might make the feedback be even worse than what I think! But also she has come along a lot even this week alone.
she says 35 words now which is on track according to “toddler talk”
ive shown her pictures of animals and she says the noises correctly (which I’ve been told counts 😆) she can also point to a star and say star now which is new this week.
although she uses a lot of social language there are instances where she is definitely using it in context to communicate and not just repeating.
eg. “Uh oh”. She knows this is when something bad/accidental has happened.. like thismorning when she put her finger in my bronzer and smashed it 🫣 (this isn’t something that’s happened before so she’s taken the word uh oh and applied it to a new situation)
I asked her if she wanted her dummy and she nodded yes.
she also uses the other social phrases in the right ways in the right context and they don’t seem to be just repeated or only said because of routine.
she has been playing with her cousin and trying to name letters/numbers. Telling her cousin to go and hide (in her own language) then trying to get her to chase her.
she was at a party and was leading the pack with children older than her who seemed clearly behind where she is and less social/comminicative.

Thankyou so much for the score sheet. She scores well on all fronts but for speech she’s only just into the white. But she’s still in there!

im trying really hard to look at the positives and try and calm my mind. I definitely do need help for my anxiety. I can be quite level headed in most situations but things like this I go down a hurt spiral and I can’t seem to stop.
deep down I know I’m spoiling my own time as I’m not letting myself enjoy my beautiful and perfect little girl and I’m looking for things that could be wrong. I just want to fast forward 2 months to hopefully a point where she’s chattering away a bit more and I can relax.. and probably worry about the next thing 😂🫣

thankyou to anybody who can be bothered reading these ramblings of a mad woman!

OP posts:
Jigglypuff87 · 19/02/2024 08:52

She sounds like she's doing really well.

I know what it's like to have anxiety regarding your child's communication/development, but she genuinely sounds fine. She's very much moving in the right direction, she's not even 2 yet!

StuffyHuffyPuffy · 19/02/2024 16:34

My son had less words than your daughter at that age. He is now 4 and will soon be at age-expected levels with his speech and language. It's been a rollercoaster, but his communication has come a long way in a shorter (than normal) time. We have had no other issues than speech. He is quick to learn and has not really given us any other reason to be concerned. He has always been incredibly stubborn. Before age 3, he would not repeat words, or get involved with some of the activities we tried to do with him.

We went the private speech-therapy route. It has been the making of him. The NHS offering was so paltry, wouldn't have made one jot of difference with his progress; this is why we went private. His therapist has helped us focus our home support on the bits where it'll make a difference.

Hang in there!

Anxiousannie777 · 19/02/2024 17:18

Thanks guys that all means a lot!
I am feeling much better this evening especially after scoring her on that form as she scores really well on all of them. Even speech/communication she is in the “white” and has surprised me with some of the things she can do in regards to problem solving etc! It’s also given me an idea of what areas to work on and what kind of tasks and made me realise that to be honest I haven’t been giving her the right activities to encourage her as much as I should have been! So hopefully stepping that up will bring her on.
today she’s learned star and points to it and says star if we draw it or show her a picture. She also today has learned shoe .. from seemingly nowhere! And brings them over for us to put on her feet.
that brings her to 38 words so I’m feeling much better.. although I know anxiety is a wild ride and I’ll have ups and down! Hoping the speech therapist will put my mind at rest even further.
im sure a lot of parents children are way further behind without them even picking up on it and end up totally fine without the parents having even worried or noticed they could be behind! Ignorance truly is bliss 🫣😆

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