Typical 5 year old?

[deeeja]

Hi anyone who reads this, don't think it will make alot of sense.
I have a 5 year old ds, school are saying he has 'social communication problems'.
Basically he does not make friends easily, and when he does he can not maintain them easily.He sometimes prefers to play with nursery children, even though he is in reception. He also doesn't listen in class to his teacher, even if the teacher repeats herself three or four times. He talks to himself, has always talked to himself at home aswell, but I never thought this was odd. He has had a few tantrums at school, not surprising he has them at home aswell.
He always answers questions in the classroom, often shouting out answers, and not giving the other children a turn. In all of these ways he stands out from his peers.
The thing that worries me is the 'home school book'. This was my idea. However, even though there are some alarming things such as him punching other children, there are others such as ringing the teachers bell, moving the bin, and these are all listed as bad behaviours. I think the teacher is being petty alot of the time, and just feels she has to write something every day.
Shall I say something?
Also, if you have made it this far, and wow if you have, is it normal for a 5 year old to mix up she/he all the time, even when corrected.
TIA

Deeja it sounds as if yr DS maybe needs a bit more support to settle in to school.

Did he go to nursery? Was his behaviour like this there?

It's good that the school are trying to work with you but by all means ask to speak to the teacher about it in more detail.

I think what may seem petty would be annoying in a classroom situation where children need to sit still and listen (some of the time!) so maybe that's why the teacher is mentioning them.

How is his appetite? Does he sleep well? Are there any jealousy/attention seeking issues do you think? Sorry not trying to be nosey, just a few things that might be causing his behaviour.

Hi Clary.
He did go to nursery, and had problems there aswell, but I just thought he was having problems adjusting then. When the nursery nurse approached me about his problems, I felt she was attacking my parenting skills. I did think he was seeking attention, and was jealous of his baby brother at 2, then again at 4, other times I have said he is tired. Now I am running out of excuses for him.
He does sleep well, but is an extremely fussy eater, but he does eat his packed lunch, because I give him what I know he will eat.
I am wondering if I am not paying enough attention to what could be behavioural issues, or whether his teacher is over-reacting.
Academically he is very bright.
He doesn't care about consequences of bad behaviour, and laughs if he makes other children cry. He also emptied a waste-paper bin over another child's head, and laughed when asked to stop.
He does sound awful though, but most of the time he is a lovely polite boy.
I think he is getting a reputation at school for being naughty.

I suspect you'll have to try different things to figure it out.
He sounds immature and impulsive, but that's not uncommon for a 5yo! I don't want to suggest a million things, he could benefit from more exercise or more sleep or maybe those things won't help at all.

I assume nothing big is going on his life, like an ill adult or recent house move, etc.

Could you go in as a parent helper, and maybe get to observe him? You might spot something that triggers his impulsive acts.

Forgot to say -- a lot of boys have bad patches in early primary school, especially reception when they are chronically impulsive, fiddling, can't sit still, shout out, don't settle or are even violent towards peers, it's not uncommon at all and most settle as they get older.

My ds used to be like this, he's now 8 and is alot better. It takes boys a while to mature. All you can do is support him and show him the error of his ways. Try to emphasise that when he does these things it makes you feel bad. The teacher being petty does not help though. Have you considered that he may be bored at school? Many bright boys, my ds included, have problems like this because they are bored.

My Ds has similar traits. He is in Yr1 now and we got a support teacher at home privately. She has identified, that he is extremely bright, but has a problem with being distracted by the tiniest thing. He fidgets so we bought him a 'wobble cushion' (google it, square one, not circular) which is amazing he sits still. He finds it difficult to listen to the teacher, because some of what she's saying he doesn't understand, when it's about writing/reading. Now, with the extra work with the support teacher, she is going over the basics again; and his class teacher says he is so much more settled. We rang the local private school to find this support teacher. Try not to worry too much (which I did) and try not to let him know you're concerned, just deal with the behaviour, boost his confidence by doing things he likes to do, swimming, climbing, drawing etc.... I don't think boys are really ready for conventional school so young, they could learn it all in a much more creative energy expending way.