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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Help!! My dd (3) will not stop whinging

20 replies

littlemonstersmum · 22/03/2008 21:53

Any tips on how to deal with constant whinging? giving her my constant attention doesn't work (which is difficult with a 5 week old), ignoring it also doesn't seem to work either. it's really getting me down and making it hard to know when there really is something wrong!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WanderingTrollegg · 22/03/2008 21:58

Ignore.

Tell her you can't understand what she is saying when she says it in that voice. Ask her to whisper, say one word at a time, sing it etc.

Original poster

littlemonstersmum · 22/03/2008 22:01

tried that- i say to her i can't hear what she's saying when she's whinging but it seems to just give her more to whine about! she only does it for me and her dad as well!

OP posts:

Flibbertyjibbet · 22/03/2008 22:16

My ds1 is also 3 and has been whingeing for a good 6 months now...
Saying we can't understand him when he winges has no effect here either. Nor pretending we can't hear him at all and saying 'whats that funny noise'???

But worst of all....

ds2 is 22m and has learned to talk with a whinge accent

Phatmouse · 22/03/2008 22:18

has she only started since the little one come along

Original poster

littlemonstersmum · 22/03/2008 22:27

no- it started long before!!

OP posts:

Flubdub · 22/03/2008 22:28

Oh I am in your exact same boat with ds, whos 3.2yrs.
I just ignore him!

Original poster

littlemonstersmum · 22/03/2008 22:29

it's also made me wonder if i'm a whingy person and she's learnt it from me- i really hope not!! when she does it and other people are around, they really play up to her and make me feel like a bitch for not having done something to cheer her up- arrgghhhh it's really getting to me!

OP posts:

Janni · 22/03/2008 22:29

I say 'use your nice voice' and I refuse to respond until she asks for something properly. It takes patience, but it does work. And praise to high heaven whenever you hear the nice tone of voice!

Original poster

littlemonstersmum · 22/03/2008 22:32

do all your whingy kids sound like there's something really wrong with them all the time? ds even seems to whinge in her sleep!

OP posts:

BitLessTiredNow · 22/03/2008 22:37

I think it is par for the course tbn (ie not your fault) both my ds's went through this at the same age, and am just waiting for dd to be old enough..... 9she's so cute now). Ignore it and be firm - as hard as it is to hear, it is the only way.....

MNersanonymous · 23/03/2008 20:11

Oh god mine too...he's 2.9 ish and so whingy! It drives me mad sometimes.

I'm trying the 'I just can't understand you' thing and it sometimes works for a while but then he forgets and goes back to his 'natural' whinge voice.

Argh!!!

Jaffaswife · 23/03/2008 23:38

My DD is 2.5 and is a nightmare whinger too. Dives me to dispair (or wine!)

Ignoring does work or time out but I just want it to end for good!!!

Makes me really appreciate my 8month old DS!!!

seeker · 23/03/2008 23:50

I used to do this ridiculous performance "Who said that? It can't be you X, can it because it was in a horrid whiny voice - Come, on, who said that? Can you see anyone X? Come and help me find whoever's talking in that whiny voice because we've got to tell them that they won't get what they want if they don't use a proper voice.....'By which time child is giggling and the moment is passed. Try it, it works. Makes you feel a prat though........

Now what do I do about my dd's Mimsy Wimsey voice? I think I'd rather have the toddler whine than the 12 year old goody-goody!

readytoswiggin · 24/03/2008 02:33

In the same boat as op, it's bloody horrid noise frankly. whatever I do, time out, ignore, or instruct to use the nice voice only seems to increase the volume and intensity, and eradicates my patience...

Cabn't wait for it too pass. expect as soon as one dd stops, the next one will start.

Janni · 24/03/2008 13:15

Seeker - I'm going to try that with my 3 year old. I like it!

seeker · 25/03/2008 07:38

It's brilliant. I can't take credit though - I got it from a book by Libby Purves called How Not to be a Perfect Mother!

Janni · 25/03/2008 11:31

Oh I read that years ago, Seeker - I love Libby Purves. My boys didn't do the whinging thing - it was either all out fury, being rumbunctious, or being mellow and occupying themselves quiety.
But the DD is something else!

GooseyLoosey · 25/03/2008 11:52

Have this problem with dd (3.6) too.

Like your idea Seeker, but how does it work when she is whinging about not being able to find something (that is cunningly hidden in full view)? DD would probably be OK while I was doing the funny voice but as soon as I stopped, I think she would start again until she found her toy (which of course she would make no attempt to look for). I could spend the entire day looking for her toys and refuse to do so and as a result get endless whinging. It drives me mad.

No1ErmaBombeckfan · 25/03/2008 11:59

When my 3 yo whinges (usually that is when her eyes are open at the moment) I usually try to ignore it or play along mimicking her whiny voice

I wish there was a 'mute' button - the argument about her rain mac now enters the 40th minute and yet there is no sight of the white flags ....

SaveScrabulous · 25/03/2008 14:39

I think that's what I find hardest Goosey - it goes on and on and on and on and on and on doesn't it.
No amount of distracting works sometimes......argh!

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