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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

first night in a bed......keeps getting out

18 replies

madame · 22/03/2008 19:53

Advice please...First night of a dd going into her bed. She is 2 and half.

We made a big work up of her new bed today and she loves it. But she has discovered she can get out....I talked to her at length before we put her to bed about staying in bed and calling if she needed us. She has got up 6 times since we put her to bed .

I have used the technique of telling her the first 2 times and now I am just ignoring her and putting her back to bed.

Is that right? any tips please

we have got a stair gate on her door.

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charliemama · 22/03/2008 20:04

I have used the same technique as you if/when mine get out of bed and it works, but requires perseverance. DD went through a stage of thinking it was a good game and I had to just completely ignore her and keep putting her back in the bed.

Good luck

Original poster

madame · 22/03/2008 20:04

please anyone been in this situation...

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StripeyMama · 22/03/2008 20:06

You're doing the right thing!

She'll get used to it, really she will. Its just such a novelty for them to be able to get out of bed that they do it repeatedly at first.

Must be boring great being two!

charliemama · 22/03/2008 20:06

I should add my older 2 are great sleepers in their beds now and rarely get out at bedtime. If they do I revert back to the rapid return technique and it works really quickly.

You have to keep telling yourself it is worth it in the long run and try to stay as calm as possible!!!

VictorianPASqualor · 22/03/2008 20:08

Return to bed, I did it with both of mine.
Just keep puting them back and ignore them, they'll eventually stop getting up.
The more you react the longer she'll do it, if you just say 'No, it's bedtime' and then nothing more and return her to bed she'll be fine in a few days.
If you keep talking to her it'll take weeks.
Just don't give up.
It'll work, I promise

Original poster

madame · 22/03/2008 20:09

you are right on the perseverence, we are up to
12 times now.

Must be patient..........

Please tell me this does pass

13...
doesn't help that dh decided to clean the fish tank out just after we had put her down and now I am doing it all..

OP posts:

squeaver · 22/03/2008 20:13

Keep going!! You're doing exactly the right thing!

charliemama · 22/03/2008 20:18

I promise it will work (well it did for me with both of mine when they went through this stage)

Remember. No talking to her or eye contact. Just pop her back in bed and leave the room.

DD used to be at the door before I had left, very frustrating!! I stayed sane by telling myself it was worth it in the long run. The first night is the hardest.

Another thing that kept me going was thinking that if I gave in once started I was opening a can of worms. By which I mean going to bed could potentially become a real issue if they think you'll give in if they try hard enough.

You have got to out persist a 2 year old, and they can be very stubbon little so and sos.

You are doing really well. Hang in there.

Original poster

madame · 22/03/2008 20:18

it's really haed because she is now getting upset with it.

I will carry on as we can't go back now but it's so hard as she went down so well in her cot.

feel like she is 10 weeks old again up and down the stairs....

OP posts:

charliemama · 22/03/2008 20:19

It's horrible when they get upset. But this is for her aswell. She needs to be able to sleep in a bed and I promise it will be easier after tonight.

glaskham · 22/03/2008 20:22

my dd is 23 mths and has the bed that was a top bunk, with the bars still on, and against the wall....she has recently learnt how to get out and i keep checking on her at 10-11pm when we go to bed only to find she has been asleep on the sofa bed they have in their room one night, on the floor in front of the door one night (blocking me from opening it without it rolling her across the floor) and she's crawled under her bed and gone to sleep one night....all within the last week!!

now i have the worry of do i remove the bars so she can get back into bed, and minimise the risk of her falling the bigger height when climbing out....but then when she sleeps she uses the bars to sleep against so if i remove them i run the risk of her rolling out of bed several times a night!!!

I have never gone in to put them back into bed when they get out, i leave them to either get back in themselves or move them from where they've fallen asleep back into bed when i check on them before i go to bed.

Original poster

madame · 22/03/2008 20:28

oh glaskham that's a difficult one...why is it never easy.

I spoke to loads of mums and they said oh it was really easy transferring form cot to bed and they never got out...

Why does my little monkey have to push the boundries...

we are up to 21 if anyone is counting

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glaskham · 22/03/2008 20:33

oh dear.....i vowed i'd never trapse up and down the stairs...i think i'm a bit mean in some ways...but they do sleep from 7pm till 7am straight unless they are ill, and only took them a few nights each to get them that way!!
she's been in the bed with the bars for over 6mths now....but she's getting bigger and stronger everyday and is learning new tricks....doesn't help that ds teaches her all these things though....maybe if she was in her own room she might not have learnt so quick!!

readytoswiggin · 22/03/2008 20:33

Both my older two did that, and still do. as i type feeding dd2 i can hear ds and dd1 both mucking around while dh sleeps in the bath... they went to bed at 6.45 [grr emoticon]

BoysOnToast · 22/03/2008 20:38

ds2 did that (ds1 didnt so was unprepared). ds2 was also being put into bed in ds1's room so was extra stress (didnt want him disrupting ds1)... iirc, i just pout him back into bed over and over and over and over...

and then on nights when he would not listen at all to me... i would warn him twice, then actually put him into his cot in the other room. he HATE the cot and would scream. i let him scream 2 mionutes so he knew i meant it, then offered his new bed back to him, but only if he promised to stay in it.
i may be an utter bitch, i may have fucked with his head, but it worked.

dandycandyjellybean · 22/03/2008 21:11

keep at it madame, it's the only way. Have seen some parents on supernanny (who have really hardened sleep problem kids, not like yours, i hasten to add) have to do it for several hours for the first night, but within a couple of nights, even for the worst offenders, it has worked. I have never seen it fail, and i've watched a LOT of episodes, all of whom seem to have sleep probs. hang in there kiddo. time to break out the wine maybe.....?

Original poster

madame · 23/03/2008 09:58

just to up date you all, we ended up doing it for about an hour and half and then she finally slumbered into sleep on her own.

we got there....

now I am going to have to tackle keeping her in bed in the morning as she seems to have totally ignored my speech about not getting out of bed

where would I be without mums net....

OP posts:

lecohen · 01/04/2008 10:28

Wow...my dd is 18 months and is very headstrong, look what I have to look forward to when it is time to put her in a proper bed lol

I have to always strap her down in the buggy as she NEVER sits still and is a real climber.

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