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Original poster

9 month old will not go to any family member

7 replies

solomon2 · 11/02/2024 19:36

I need advice…

My LO will not allow any family member to pick her up. She is quite happy playing with them but refuses to be held.

She also cries a lot when I leave the room with them even if it’s to go toilet. The only person she will happily settle with is my partner.

Is this normal behaviour? I know separation anxiety can play a huge part in this but honestly she screams when I leave her with a family member or if I’m there she will fuss with them.

Whats Intresting tho is she is really smiley & happy towards strangers. Waves at them and claps hands with them.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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CadyEastman · 12/02/2024 11:01

Totally normal, you just have to go with it for a while and take her with you to the loo or don't leave her with anyone if she's uncomfortable.

skkyelark · 12/02/2024 13:47

Both mine did this – at times, they wouldn't even tolerate being left with daddy whilst I was in another room. It's very hard whilst it lasts, but did pass for both of them (although they are still very much mummy's girls at 4 and 2). Both settled into nursery reasonably straightforwardly, and my eldest does gymnastics and swimming classes without me perfectly happily.

Original poster
solomon2 · 12/02/2024 14:31

CadyEastman · 12/02/2024 11:01

Totally normal, you just have to go with it for a while and take her with you to the loo or don't leave her with anyone if she's uncomfortable.

I feel like she’s uncomfortable with everyone.

how can I help her feel more settled? Or what do I do?

OP posts:
CadyEastman · 12/02/2024 15:46

how can I help her feel more settled? Or what do I do?

The main thing you can do is just to see to her needs now. She's showing you that she's only comfortable with you or DH. Just let her come to you whenever she shows you that she wants to.

What she's doing is entirely age appropriate but probably frustrating for you.

Both of mine went through this phase, I can remember starting work and being relieved that I could go for a wee without having to mail a baby upstairs too! Both are Teens now and more than happy when I leave the house! Grin

Original poster
solomon2 · 12/02/2024 20:32

CadyEastman · 12/02/2024 15:46

how can I help her feel more settled? Or what do I do?

The main thing you can do is just to see to her needs now. She's showing you that she's only comfortable with you or DH. Just let her come to you whenever she shows you that she wants to.

What she's doing is entirely age appropriate but probably frustrating for you.

Both of mine went through this phase, I can remember starting work and being relieved that I could go for a wee without having to mail a baby upstairs too! Both are Teens now and more than happy when I leave the house! Grin

Thanks for advice.

yes we couldn’t be anymore there for her if that makes sense. We have such a secure attachment it truly is magical.

my concern is when I go back to work in May so I just hope by that point she warms up a little.

do you think I should practice leaving her for small amount of time?

OP posts:
CadyEastman · 12/02/2024 22:41

do you think I should practice leaving her for small amount of time

Who'll be looking after when you are at work?

Original poster
solomon2 · 13/02/2024 09:27

CadyEastman · 12/02/2024 22:41

do you think I should practice leaving her for small amount of time

Who'll be looking after when you are at work?

Mil and my auntie. Both which she enjoys playing with but as soon as they pick her up she cry’s for me x

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