Shopping trips with 3 year old - how do you control them?

[LuLu15]

My 3.9 year old has started behaving really badly on shopping trips - doesn't matter if it's clothes or food shopping. She constantly says I want even though experience should have told her that she never gets whatever she wants and then out of the blue runs like a hyena away from me and I of course run after her which she thinks is hilarious! I am concerned that she will run into trouble one of these days as she nearly ran out of a shop into a road. I am toying with threatening reins again to teach her that if she acts like a baby she'll be treated like one. The upshot is she never listens to anything me or my dh say ever! How do you get them to respect you without making them scared of you. Help!

Make dh stay at home and look after her while you do the shopping.

shop online lol

give her a list for in the supermarket that she has to be responsible for. my dd loves reminding me of stuff thats on the 'list'

on the ODD occassion buy her a comic as a treat but not everytime she's good or that defeats the purpose

let her choose which yogurts/cheese etc - involve her in choosing new things to try at home - a fruit she's never had before etc

put her back in the trolley seat?

I don't take mine into town, I tend to do anything like that online or alone if possible. trip to next or mothercare etc can be done on the promise of a look at the books or toys so she can have a think about what she would like to save her pennies for

We use the wrist strap with DS1 2.9mths if he's playing up. Don't care if it looks a bit weird ... it stops them getting run over! Or I bribe him with going on the helicopter when we come out. I withdraw it if he's naughty. (I don't pay ... just let him sit on it!!)

I do my grocery shopping online for the big shop but sometimes I need to get a couple of things that we're missing or need. I'm also of the opinion that dd needs to put up with things she doesn't like doing because we all have to do this. Aren't children generally too spoilt and only doing what they want to do isn't in the long term going to help is it?

She is just being three, doing what three-year-olds do. Whilst she's at this awkward stage, what is the harm with leaving her at home with your dh? I did that with my dd1 and she has turned out fine with virtually no psychotic tendencies at all.. . I'm all for making life easy me. What's the point in being a martyr?

IF it's food shopping stick her in th etrolley. Even if you only need one or two bits. If she tries to climb out, put her back in.

If it's clothes and you HAVE to take her then make sure you don't let go. Ever. Use reins/wrist straps if necessary.

Keep shopping trips as short as possible.

Kids can't always do want they want. There are plenty of things that they have to do. But if they don't have to then why make life more stressful for the both of you? WHy make both of you miserable? I think taking children shopping if you don't have to is ridiculous and quite cruel actually.

All her behaviour sounds typical of a 3yo. You have to keep repeating yourself like a broken record.

My dts have just turned 4, I stil have no choice but to put wrist bands on them when out shopping.

I took my 3 yr old twins to asda this morning and our routine is that they can sit in the trolley or walk, but if they walk they have to hold on - if they let go of the trolley I sit them in it straight away - not getting cross but 'I have to do this because I'm so worried I'll lose you'.
They pass all the things to me or put it in the trolley - even if that means I have to lift them up to get it off the shelf and they hold the list too.
If they are inn the trolley I indulge in a bit off fast pushing games in empty aisles.
I put them in the trolley when we get to the till and give them a cracker or something too - I telll them they need to have a rest, but it's because I know this is when they are most tempted to run off because I am busy.
A ride on the Thomas ride is an occasional bribe if they are very tired/grumpy.
If they say ' I want' I just say 'Oh dear that would be nice, but it's not on the list...do you know where the beans are?' Or 'I wish I could have a rocket -mine would be silver what colour would yours be?' or similar nonsense.

I think you have to listen to them to get them to listen to you - just because they can't have what they want you don't have to dismiss them with an abrupt 'no' or 'you don't want that'. Acknowledge her want and then distract her
The book 'How to talk so kids will listen' is full of great ideas and explains this a lot better than I can.

i agree with luckylady get them joined in. i used to make picture and word shopping lists for my ds and he used to have to help me find the item and put it in the trolley.
as he got older i just do the words. he's 9 and still likes taking the shopping list and telling me- you cant have that its not on the list when i pick someting up on impulse lol
have just started doing the same with my dd now 23 months although she doesnt yet understand what the pics etc mean he likes to draw and write her own list as we walk round the shop
ime children respond to shopping better if they are involved. give them a shopping bag while you are packing and let them pack a couple of items in their bags- their shampoo, yoghurts or whatever you are buying. they have to pay attention to what is coming down the conveyer belt then, also stops them running off while your packing

FAST, ask them 2 help u find things in the shop, let them carry something & maybe even choose something 2 snack on after.

i am a childminder and when we go to the shops i ask 3.10 yr old to hold on if he does not and keeps running i will put wrist band on.i only ask him to hold on where it is really busy and i tell him if he cant see me then i cant see him and he has gone too far!!!!!