Hello,
please no judgment as I’m doing my best and I’m posting here bc googling advice isn’t helpful for my particular situation.
So brief backstory- me and daughters dad split 4 years ago and I had to move back into my mums with my daughter, we share a room but she’s in her own bed, and I’ve been here ever since trying to rebuild and save for our own place. I have a very strained relationship with my narcissistic mother and brother, and my partner also moved in about 6 months ago- daughter gets along brilliantly with him. Bedtime routine is as follows- 6pm she gets in bed and has iPad time for an hour, after this she she likes to listen to an audiobook so I take the tablet off her and connect it to a speaker that she has in the bed with her. But every single night for the past year in particular she just completely switches when it’s time to hand the tablet over. She’s perfectly behaved at school, after school, during tv time, but after that it turns into carnage. She screams, she hangs out the side of her bed(cabin bed), she screams that she has to sleep in my bed, she shouts nanny for hours on end, she says odd things like “you’re so mean mummy if there was a fire and I was stuck you wouldn’t care” which absolutely devastates me. Problem being, everyone in the house gets involved in the parenting- my brother is shouting from his room, mums demanding my daughter gets in her bed(then throws it back in my face the next day) I try so hard to be gentle but firm but I end up angry and crying because I am exhausted. Recently she’s also been forcing trickles of wee out while in bed, assuming as an attention/an excuse to get out of bed and shout on the landing. I just do not know what to do anymore or where to go for advice. I’m working 2 jobs from 4am to 8am, home, school run, then onto my other job until 2:30 and I’m trying so hard to get on top of debt I accumulated when I was 18 and save for a rental deposit. I’ve tried so far- no dessert after dinner, no iPad until tv time, no iPad whatsoever, I’ve delicately asked my mum to go along with whatever I say(ignored it, told my daughter she’s the boss of me), cancelling sleepovers, not allowed to open and play with a particular toy etc. Please please tell me where I’m going wrong, but be gentle bc I’m fragile atm lol.