Is this a healthy routine

[Expiring7656]

10 Y/O wakes up at 6.45 on a school day, plays playstatiom until 8.30, then goes to school. They come home at 15.30 and play playstation until 21.00. Repeat every schoolday except Thursday, when I take them for a physical activity.

Friday playstation before school again, then after until 17.00, when I collect them from their "co-parent". Then socialising, physical activities until Saturday 14.00, when I drop them back off at their co-parent house.

And you can guess the rest, playstation until 21.00 on Saturday, and again on Sunday.

Help me out here, is this a healthy routine the co-parent has them in? Is this going to damage their mental and physical development at a crucial point? Or am I the bad one for wanting to restrict this behaviour to 2 hours a day instead of 8+?

I want to clarify that while they are at this house, the co-parent is often not. They are often out with their partner, leaving the child with the grandparents, who do not want to play or socialise with the child, they prefer to have the child on the playstation.

I have spoken to the co parent about this, and they are unwilling to change anything.

It’s not ideal. Do they do homework, stop for meals, go for walks, watch TV, talk to friends?
I’ll be honest, my DC has too much screen time. He will go on Xbox/ switch when he gets in from school at 4 (5 on nights he has sports afterwards). I’m not home til 5.30/ 5.45 so not much I can do.
He does spend a couple of hours doing sports clubs twice a week in addition to the after school ones, plus sports both weekend mornings. He walks the dog with me for an hour about 4 or 5 times a week too, watches a few tv shows with the family, does his homework and plays out with friends when it’s light enough too.
When it’s dark evenings then the Xbox/ screens are his way of socialising and he’s normally talking to friends (real life ones from school or sports) he’s playing with the whole time which I think makes it less unhealthy.

I don't have complete visibility due to the child being at the co parent, but I do have the playstation app on my phone, and can see when the console is on, when games are being played and when the child is in a party.

There are no dog walks, the only sports happens during school PE lessons and the physical activity I take the child on a Thursday and Saturday.

The coparent often sleeps at their partners parents house, leaving the child with the grandparents. The grandparents sit in another room leaving the child to play playstation, they do bring the child food and drinks, but other than that the child is on their own on the playstation.

This isn't restricted to just the dark months, it's during peak summer season too. I often collect the child, who is dripping in sweat because the house is too hot, and they have just been sat inside playing playstation while it is sunny outside

If it’s as you describe then that definitely sounds unhealthy even by my relaxed standards (and lonely).
Would the co-parent not let your child stay with you if they are away overnight rather than with grandparents? I know I’d insist on that if it were my child.

Or can you limit screen time from the app?

Would there be any scope for you to increase your time with your child or get a commitment to more physical out of school activities? It's such an important time for developing healthy routines and social behaviours, so your child would probably really benefit long-term from less screentime and more real-world time doing things.

I would consider limiting legal right of coparent if they are not spending time with child. In fact this can be seen as neglect and you should talk to lawyer or find a way to settle this outside of court - but obviously don't let child be in such state.

This.

Please do something about it before it's too late.

I would think about applying for more time but at 10 the Court will take your DS' wishes into consideration.

Just want to say I feel your pain OP. It’s not healthy but it’s also not “that” bad.
I have had similar struggles with my 7yo stepson at his mums house (only difference is it’s iPad not PlayStation.) It’s not ideal but as long as he’s doing a variety of things with you he will be ok.
I raised my concerns with a therapist once because I was so sick with worry and the therapist basically said there is no crime being committed here, the child is not in danger, there is nothing you can do. Authorities unfortunately have much much bigger fish to fry when it comes to neglect. Hard to hear but weirdly it did help me accept this situation and focus on the positive things we do in our home. I still struggle though and wish I could make it better for the kid!! Sending you love! xx