Bit of a screamer and constantly on the go

[twinkleymum]

Anyone else got a bit of a screamer? My 4 month old DD is a terrible day napper she works herself up into a frenzy when she gets tired and I can only get her to sleep on me with lots of walking about or in the pram (more walking about).

She is also a real fidget, she wont sit in any sort of chair or stay in one place for more than 15 minutes, I'm exhausted. All my friend's babies are not like this and the parents are looking at the pair of us like we're loons marching about everywhere! Will she ever calm down? She did a good screaming fit when the hv was there she said I have a fractious baby.

On the plus side she rolled over today

...she'll calm down when she starts crawling and walking...

DD was the same. Wouldn't BF away from the calm of the house (too nosey), wouldn't nap in pram ever. Had to stick it out at home to get her into a routine with naps & feeding, which she did after a while. Is now 14 months and is into everything, zooming around an all fours, nearly walking. Is lots of fun. Very switched on. Only learnt to sit still for a few moments and play with toys at 10 months when she had her first cold, so slowed down a bit.
We have our very first holiday late April - haven't been away before now because there is just no way she would have slept anywhere else. Looking forward to it.

She is an angel and we adore her, even when she's a total monster.
It's exhausting and doesn't help attempting to make new mummy friends, which I regret. You have my sympathy. I'm sure she will calm down.

One thing i read which helped enormously is that babies can only go for about 2 hours before they need a nap. What I did was take her up to bed (before she seemed tired), get her ready, darkened room, and calm story and cuddle before putting her down for a nap. I did this three times a day when she was quite little, then twice a day. Took time but she is an excellent napper now. Ten times harder when they get over-stimulated/tired.

We had a screamer. Absolute nightmare. Was at the end of my tether. And you've b]
never heard a scream like it...the neighbours loved to make snide little comments about how unhappy he seemed. But now, at 10months, he's much better. Still terrible at napping (he's never once had a daytime nap in his cot ), but so much happier now he's that bit more idependent. Just grit your teeth and bear it! Who wants one of those boring docile ones anyway?!!

Thanks guys. I'm hoping that it will be easier when she's a bit older. Glad I'm not the only one.

The breast feeding thing sounds familiar, I have to try and sit somewhere quiet because obviously lying still and feeding is far too boring, especially the first feed of the day. She loves to look about and take my nipple with her or bob on and off for everyone to get a good eyefull.

I dread going out in case she has a screaming fit or I have to walk about until my back is killing me.

That would mean I'd have to have sex the thought of which still frightens the life out of me! Lucky have very understanding DH!

God this is so familiar!!

DS is 3 now and stil always on go, but he is also a great sleeper and highly sociable

His temperament improved as soon as he could move around and he is bright funny and gorgeous now. I will say tho, I loathed being a mum for the first 6 months!!

Sam still cant sleep anywhere but his bed, so I did like mylovelymonster and stuck him down for a nap every 2.5 hours

It drove me mad when I was in the thick of it, but now I think back and it doesn't seem so bad, and I learnt a lot, and time just flies so try to enjoy the lovely stuff x
Lots of luck

twinkleymum, your dd might one of these: high need babies.

It is very bewildering, especially when dd is your first, I assume. I have had 2 high needs babies and still have not met any mothers in RL who have had similar babies.

Stick on mn. There are quite a few of us (some on here already) who know and sympathise with what you are describing.

Just wanted to echo others. It will get better. Get a sling. Go with the flow and ignore advice from anyone who does not have a similar baby. You will have the last laugh.

You are doing great. Marching around is just what your dd needs at this stage. and

Get a sling. Don't do your back in holding baby in arms, plus it frees up your hands.

Get two slings. Get lots.

I have got a baby carrier to help with my back it is the best thing that I've bought so far! Blueshoes that link on high needs babies made me laugh as she is just like that and fits all 12 criteria! Even before she was born she used to kick me all day long, I laughed when the midwife asked if she moves at least 10 times a day I said she does that in half an hour.

Thanks for all your responses. When DD is in a good mood she is lovely, very smiley and vocal. I try to remember this when meltdown arrives.

Good grief twinkleymum, are you me in some wierd parallell universe????

My ds is now 7.5 months old and is a dreadful napper, has been since about 3 months old. He too gets over tired and has a fit unless in the car or fed to sleep for a nap, I've tried putting him down every 2.5hours but it makes no difference as he fights sleep so much, he just hates that he might miss out on something and always wakes up cranky after a nap.

I too dread meltdowns (although they are far less frequent now). I hate it when, like today, family members come to the house and I have to explain why he's so grizzly and dread him becomming tired and whingey.

I have paced around my with ds listening to Savage Garden music more times than I can remember!!!! For some reason he has always just loved being carried around upright (the music is purely to cheer me up!

I have been told by many lovely mnetters that he is just incredibly inquisitive and raring to go. I'm still hoping he will calm down and relax a bit when he can provide his own movement and crawl. He seems vert close to doing this but he doesn't quite have the arm coordination to propell himself yet.

I think a lot of our babies' problems stem from frustration and just disliking being so dependant. My ds used to hate sitting still (still hates his carseat even now). He gradually (veeerrrry slowly) perked up since being able to roll and is fairly happy for short stints kicking and rolling on the floor. He now can sit well unaided so will sit for a while playing, leaving me some valuble arm free time! Still won't stay still in my arms, unless I stand and walk with him.

It's knackering having a baby like this and I know what you mean by all your friends babies are not like this! I posted such a similar thread to this about 9 weeks ago! Things have slightly improved since then, very gradually. Still have bad days but I have no doubt that is due to ds inability to nap for more than 30 mins so he's contantly knackered. If he sleeps well, he is far easier.

It will all improve when they get mobile (I pray!!!)

Seriously though, you have my deepest sympathy but mumsnet has been a lifeline for me at times so keep posting. Sorry you're having a tough time. It will pass.

Oh I forgot to ask... How does she sleep at night?

The infuriating thing about my ds is that he is amazing at night and settles himself and sleeps for 11 hours straight. Amazing and I 'm glad but I know he can settle to sleep so why not in the day???????? I'm just grateful that he is so good at night or else I'd go completely doolally!

Hi meandmyjoe.... DD used to sleep at night with two BF but went straight back down. The last 3 weeks she has decided not to do that anymore and can wake 5 times in the night and sometimes takes an hour and half to settle. So am totally exhausted these days, my eyes sting as I've not been used to it and without day naps neither of us get any rest

Oooo dear, that must be twice as hard if you have it at night aswell. I have big symathy for you!!! Your dd must be shattered too, which doesn't help their mood. DS woke at 5 am thismorning and decided it was time to get up. Problem is, he was so so tired that he was in a fowl mood so we've just got back from an hour and half's drive so he would sleep! Otherwise he's have fussed his way to sleep eventually and woke up just as grumpy after half an hour. All good when daddy's at home but when dh goes to work it's just me and him and no car

At the minute though, he's smiley and happily playing in his high chair with his daddy. This morning he did nothing but whimper and fuss from the moment we got up with him.

If only we could get our babies to sleep in the day. I've heard that babies who nap poorly also can have their night sleep affected by it as they are wound up and overtired so are more likely to wake and fuss. Could be the case with your dd. Although, I'm yet to find a solution for it!

Sorry can't be of much help but you are certainly not alone in having a 'fractious baby'! Did the Health Visitor not offer any advice or tips when she saw your dd's screaming fit?

No tips from the hv she just said I have to accept that there will be times that she wont settle and I'd have to go home (if I was out). She has put our names down for baby massage classes which she said might help, but I've tried that myself, I'll go anyway gets me out the house.

My DH is great too and it is so much easier when he is around! Between the pair of us DD is much happier. I do the long car drives too, I have got the car all the time so that helps, apart from the cost of petrol that is.

I've had an OK week this week though only one really bad day, and we're visiting parents for a few days so that we can have a bit of a rest

have you tried swimming? before he got mobile ds got very frustrated and i found giving him a physical outlet really helped a lot. and tired him out.

i still wonder what other species of baby is taken shopping in oxford street, mine would have lasted about 20 seconds.

Health Vistiors are full of good advice aren't they???!!! Well, I dare say some of them are brilliant but Lincolnshire's are a bit of a mess at the minute as they've made it so that you don't have an individual health visitor anymore but that you have a team of health visitors. Which basically means that I never see the same person twice anymore and every single one of them gives me conflicting advice!

Mind you, when I had an idividual health visitor, her only advice was to leave my ds to cry (he was only five months at the time and I ignored her completely!) I still can't leave him to cry now, I don't see what good it would do. He sleeps well at night and during the day mainly cries through frustration so leaving him to cry would surely make him more frustrated and miserable (in my opinion!).

I totally understand what you mean about it being easier when dh is around. My dh works 12 hour shifts (on a four day on- four day off rota) and for some reason the four days off always go much much quicker than the four days on!! I think any mum being on their own for so long would find it hard, even with an easy going baby. I still find it hard now but nothing like it was when he was at the stage that your dd is. Sometimes I don't even realise the subtle improvements. Or somedays I'll have a really bad day and it will seem like it's always bad if you know what I mean?

What I'm trying to say is try not to get too caught up when people say it will get easier by a certain date or age. I did, everyone assured me by 6 months he'd be sorted. It was torturous when it didn't happen that way. But looking back to how things were, the endless pacing- not being able to stand still for a minute, it was awful and it's no where near as bad now. I think our babies are just mad at being so helpless and immobile. As ds gets more independant, he gets more contented. I really think this will be the case for your dd.

It's so awful when you see your friends breezing through it and able to do whatever they want with their babies but we have to accept that that's not the case with ours (yet!). It won't always be this way. A lovely mumsnetter (who has had 2 babies like ours!) assured me that once her dd1 could crawl and particularly when she could walk, she became a delight and has been a relatively easy toddler. Her dd2 is heading the same way too, so that's good news!

I think it's just swings and roundabouts. If we have a crap time now, with a bit of luck, it'll be easier as toddlers as they will have vented most of their frustration and just be glad to be more independant. Just as everyone elses little angel babies begin to liven up and kick up a fuss, ours will be mellowing!

It'll be fine and just remember that the grotty baby stage doesn't last too long. In a year you'll be chasing after your happy little child and missing them being a baby. xxxxxxxxx

Big sympathy from a fellow difficult baby mum. Mine's 8 months and a real pleasure to be around, although still rubbish at sleep and hell when tired. From 4 months it got easier, by 5 months he would nap lying down if i fed him to sleep on the bed. 4 months is a classic bad sleep time, google 'ask moxie'. Ignore smug parents, they don't live in our world right now! And MN is great support.

My ds(5 1/2 months) is the same, always wanting to be on the move. Do you find it difficult to feed your babies? I have a real problem getting ds to take more than an ounce before he starts crying, but as soon as I put him back down to play he is fine until he realises he is hungry again.

On the plus side he is sleeping through. It's also good to hear that they become more contented the more mobile they become

Hi - me again. Just a thought, but someone mentioned baby massage and I remembered that gently stroking DDs legs helped calm her when she was overaught/when I wanted her to calm and (hopefully) have a sleep. I think I had to use this when she was 3 or 4 months old. Head stroking and hand holding were good too. (She would not have a dummy).