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Behaviour/development

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Help a FTM with some basic toddler parenting

2 replies

Winnipeggy · 02/02/2024 21:42

We're just entering the terrible twos. Yay. Obviously I knew this would probably happen but I'm a FTM and just wanted a little advice on how to deal with them right now.

She's not really being rude or anything, she will just randomly start waving her arms, shaking her head, stamping her feet etc when she decides she doesn't want me near her or doesn't want to do something I've suggested. I think it's just an independence thing....hates getting dressed, changing nappy etc - all pretty standard. Normally it's over very quickly. Up until now she has had a very chilled temperament so it's been a little jarring for me personally but I've been warned so was preparing myself!

My instinct is to let her get on with it and react very neutrally, but I REALLY don't want her to be 3/4 years old and walking all over me so what should I be doing at this very early tantrum stage to set up good boundaries for the future? I know it's not one size fits all but any advice welcome thank you.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CadyEastman · 03/02/2024 07:41

How about offering her a choice of clothes? I found this helped with my DS at that age. So pick out two suitable outfits the night before and show them to her when you want her to get dressed and ask her which one she wants? It gives her a little independence without an overwhelming choice.

TayceOnToast · 14/02/2024 22:09

Yep, agree with giving her the illusion of choice. It gives them a sense of control and security. Frame the thing you want them
to do in two ways. If X is the thing you want them to do then the formula is “Would you like to do X like a or like b?” it doesn’t even matter what a and b are, as long as you are calm and firm in your mind that X is definitely happening 😂 . If they’re still being difficult you can say if you don’t choose then I will choose and start a countdown (countdown doesn’t have to be out loud even, it can be in your mind - they will soon learn there’s a time limit)

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