DD struggling at school and don’t know how to help her

[Aozora13]

My eldest DD is 7 (in Year 3). She’s always been an anxious, quirky child but since the start of the school year has been increasingly struggling at school, feigning illness and having what she calls panic attacks (not an actual panic attack but she freaks out). School have been great, lots of suggestions to try. Latest one is ear defenders as she told her teacher she can’t focus with the other kids being noisy. This has got me wondering about possible neurodiversity. Thing is, half my family are autistic and the rest are eccentric at best so I don’t really know what’s “normal” and what isn’t. Things like her obsession with particular books, getting deeply absorbed in make believe, being a really picky eater, finding friendships hard outside an intense best friend, all this she gets from me, but maybe is regular kid behaviour?

I worry as my brother has significant social and communication challenges (can’t live independently, never worked and has zero social life) but managed to get by until secondary school when he ended up having a pretty scary breakdown and no diagnosis as in those days I think you had to have pretty classic symptoms and as an adult he doesn’t believe there’s anything “wrong”. But I’m not really sure where to go from here or how best to help DD.

She does sound very much like my DD who is now on the Pathway.

And you're right. If you are ND yourself or lots of your family are, it can be pretty hard to spit the signs in your DC.

Could you talk to SENCO at school and ask them? I did do this when my DD was 7 though and got laughed at, hopefully you'll have more success!

I would do this SLT progress checker before speaking to SEnCO or your GP though. Our DD had some aspects of her language missing which we had honestly failed to spot.

Thank you that’s really helpful. I did the checker thing and her language is fine I think, although she struggles with focus. I’ve got parents evening next week so going to have a more in-depth chat with her teacher and see about the SENCO. Teacher has already suggested some helpful things about time out, quiet spaces etc as well as ear defenders so will take step by step. I’m keen to get the right support in place as I’ve seen the difference it can make between my generation with no diagnosis and younger diagnosed relatives who have been able to make adaptations and are thriving. How is your DD getting on?

DD still struggles but has more understanding of why she is a little different since she's been on the Pathway.