Hi, I’m just looking for some advice really. Long story short my daughter from the age of 4 till 7 didn’t see her dad. It was court ordered due to his “abusive behaviour”. Basically he is a narcissist and shouts when he doesn’t get his way etc. She now has every other weekend with him. She is almost 8.
Her behaviour has slowly got worse and definitely worse since contact started but that maybe a coincidence. She has always been extremely stubborn and digs her heels at any request for her to do something. Getting ready for school etc causes stress and arguments so does cleaning teeth etc etc. Nothing has worked so far, any punishment or reward is not enough.
This past couple of weeks though has got bad at school. She has always struggled to listen. I’ve been on and on at the school to get her some extra support but they haven’t thought it bad enough until recently. An incident happened where she was in trouble and she hid under the table crying and shaking, nothing they could do would get her out. She has done this now every day for a week. Any time she thinks the work is too hard or she doesn’t want to do it or she doesn’t like her teacher she hides. They have said she seems very distressed.
I’ve been to the gp several times as she also complains of tummy ache, I believe it’s anxiety. They have said the school needs to be sorting it out. Yesterday the teacher has said they are requesting the school psychologist to come and watch her to see what they think.
Ive always suspected she maybe ND, I believe I am and I struggled when younger with anxiety. I don’t have this anymore but I could if I didn’t use the tools I’ve learned.
From what I can see she doesn’t want to feel her feelings of disappointment when she gets things wrong. She has problems with loosing and other children winning or getting certificates. Instead of being happy for them she thinks instead she is bad so she didn’t get them. No matter how hard I explain that everyone has to win sometimes she still thinks she should. She has also stolen things from friends and school.
Im really struggling as you can’t talk to her as she is like a brick wall, she won’t listen and just goes blah blah here we go again.
Any advice on what could be happening whilst we wait for the school psychologist??