Morning all.
I'm going through a tough patch and I'm making my own life harder because of my behaviour/thought process. I need to learn to let things go. I need to learn to not control everything and everyone. I need to stop putting such high expectations on myself, I'm exhausted, I'm up-tight and I've lost myself. I'm a lone parent and constantly beat myself up about the things I've done wrong, I fixate on the negatives about my son rather than him as a whole person, he is actually pretty awesome. When he was younger he had quite bad behaviour, more at school than at home, which resulted in me panicking that everyone was judging me as a shit parent so I tried everything and anything. One of my faults is I make these wonderful plans and then don't stick to them, so there has been a lot of inconsistent parenting and goal post moving. (This is what I do for most things) generally I do know I'm a good enough mum, sometimes i do things great, other times not so much. I've got some other personal stuff going on which is why I'm struggling at the moment. My son has picked up that I'm more snappy, shouty and generally not happy and is matching my energy. I've obviously got stuff to work through and I need to do that separately to him. So I'm finally getting to the point.... There are certain things I need to be stricter on, such as homework or less screen time. How can I focus on these, without the need for control and for him to learn to take responsibility, I know it won't happen overnight, but my head is so full I don't know where to start, I need a mantra, so when X happens I just say.....and keep repeating if needed, so it doesn't end up in a shouting match, Or is the wrong way too?? Any advice anyone has will be hugely appreciated. Thank you