dyspraxia - an "invented" condition... my supportive mother

[MissChief]

she who is always right has now really put her foot in it. Worried sick about ds1 and his many referrals to various professionals for suspected dyspraxia/aspergers and she reassures me that the teachers have made it up to cover up for their poor classroom control! She speaks as an ex-teacher herself and an educated woman (or so she likes to claim!)

Just needed to vent, I wish she would just shut up and listen and just be supportive, even if she doesn't agree with what we're doing. Isn't that what parents are for?!
I understand that it is a fairly new term, many havne't heard of it let alone are comfortable with its meaning but her attitude is just so unhelpful and as usual, hurtful. She never ever has had faith in my judgement or my intelligence - she even (wrongly) explained to me what dyspraxia meant - dys meaning bad and praxia meaning movement. Well, she she was half-right
(weary )
I need her support but I guess I should accept that in this as in most things I'm not really going to get it. I just hope she's fair to ds.
Apologies for such a rambling rant.

by the way, we're going thro all the referrals, have accessed relevant info on the web so not really after advice on that as such. It looks fairly clear cut.Just needed a rant!

Rant away Fortunately for me my mums a senco and knows more about ds needs in the classroom then me. My friends Mum is also a teacher and similarly ignorant about my friends dd's sn.

thanks, it's amazing though, isn't it? I'd actually now hate for someone like my mum to be teaching ds, even though she's a skilled teacher, she's in denial and a bigot.
tbh, I've got lots of "issues" with her, she's like this about everything so am trying not to over-react (yeah, it's not working!) as it's not so unexpected. Just once though, it would be great if i had the kind of mum who just gave us all a big hug, said "I'm sorry, how can I help?" rather than make it an intellectual debate about the politicisaiton of the classroom or the curse of SEN labelling etc etc

I got it wrong its my friends MIL not mum. She is a complete headcase. Its really quite scary that she is in charge of educating a class of primary age children

maybe my mum's a headcase too! But she's talking about her grandson not some theoretical case, I can't get over her attitude! IMHO they should be barred from teaching.

I quite agree mischief. I am so glad the teachers at ds school are a little more enlightened It must be really hard on you

i thought they had regular INSET days updaitng teachers on different areas inc SEN. Oh well. I'll have to bite my tongue next time I see her.

I think this is common among older teachers. My (lovely) Mum is a recently retired teacher. I'm sure she was supportive of all her children. She was recognised publicly as an excellent teacher, but she really didn't "get" the way everything has to have a name. She says all children are different, some find motor control hard, others reading, others social skills but that doesn't have to mean they have a "disorder".

Also (and this is where she gets very controversial) she found that things like these were much more common in middle class schools, the working class parents being more prepared to accept that they had a child of below average ability.

Message withdrawn

ikwym but it was the school themselves who recognised it and are pushing for referrals, not us initially. I'm aware of the tag though. Also, if in doubt blame the mother for crap parenting!
I agree they're all different but some need extra support in order to achieve in the mainstream, I also agree that it's vital that this is recognised for all kids in need, not just the middle class ones.

Absolutely MissChief - that's my mum's view - they all need differing levels of support in different areas, but they don't need a "diagnosis" for that to be true, it applies to all children.

problem is, some do need a diagnosis to get the extra support which is often vital! My ds needs a TA or similar to sit with him, 1:1 for many activities in order for him to be on task. The school hasn't got the resources for this though and he's not sufficienlty behind the average to be statemented, or so they say

my mum is the same about ds who was formally diagnosed late last year and he is 13 which is a really difficult age as we have to get read gor gcses etc and it has been a nightmare.My mum says 'theres nothing wrong with him'

oh, that must be hard. I wonder if they ever come round. Hope you've got good support form elsewhere, noddy.

I have the teachers have been really helpful xx

Oooooooh, I'd better go and tell ds2 to cop himself on then and just write normally and go in a straight line when riding his bike! Sheeeesh and there I was worrying about nothing!