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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

fear of hand dryers and public toilets - anyone else had this??

45 replies

jollydo · 19/03/2008 16:21

My ds (nearly 4) is frightened of the noise of hand dryers but is now getting ridiculous. He used to just panic a bit when in a public toilet, then would only go in ones where noone else could come in and switch on dryer. Now he's mostly refusing to go in public toilets at all incase there is a dryer, even if I check & assure him there isn't. He says he needs to go then will start to panic and say he doesn't.
Do I wait till he grows out of this or is there anything I can do? I'm not sure physically forcing him to go in would work - would it make it worse? Also he is heavy and it would require a big struggle to get him in- lots of screaming and big drama.
He does have a few other fears - and noises like blenders / fireworks / coffee machines are high on the list.
Mostly I go gently with him about these fears but this one is making it tricky when we go out.
Has anyone else had this problem and what did you do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Smee · 19/03/2008 16:30

We had it a while back (DS now nearly 4). I decided to go with it, but got him a cheap pair of ear muffs from Claire's Accessories as a solution. They don't block the noise, but he thinks they do, so he feels like I'm listening and that we've found a solution. Now he often forgets that he needs them, so I think it was worth the £2.50...

foxinsocks · 19/03/2008 16:32

yes, dd was like this. I can't post hugely now as I'm at work and just having a quick cuppa.

Dd is 7 now and still doesn't like them but she tolerates them better now (so won't run a mile when one is turned on!). We did absolutely nothing about it . If we were in a public loo and someone turned them on, she would put her hands over her ears and get very upset and often would refuse to go in. I know you shouldn't do this, but in an emergency, we'd use the disabled loo because then there was no chance someone would set them off (because they are normally in the loo iyswim). It was either that or her peeing herself....you'll start to get a feel for the loos with and without them soon I imagine.

I feel sorry for them because they are such real fears in their minds, aren't they.

We tried not to pander to it though - so if she was desperate, we'd let her go in first (without us checking) and then quickly get her into a cubicle (or walk in so that we blocked sight of the driers).

Piffle · 19/03/2008 16:35

My dd has hypersenses esp hearing as she is seriously visually impaired. She gflinches at anything and is esp scared of hand dryers. Let him
put his hands over his ears. Dd has done this for tears and just now aged 5.5 she will use the one at school but with her eyes closed and head turned away. With de it I'd called auditory defensiveness. Or hyperacusis

dylsmum1998 · 19/03/2008 16:42

yes ny ds was the same, even down to being frightened of the automatically squirting of air freshner they had in our kfc.
he was the same absolutely busting but refuse to go in. we used to have to find places that didnt have them, or were quieter toilets. it is really hard but it does get easier as they get older

MioMao · 19/03/2008 16:45

yes! my DD is like this. She is only just 3, and been potty-trained for about 5 months. We haven't been able to get her to use a public toilet successfully yet because she is so terrified of the hand-dryers. When she was first out of nappies I took her into a few different toilets, but she got so upset when someone set off the hand-dryer she now point blank refuses to go into a public toilet.

She gets so upset there is no way she would sit on the toilet, let alone relax enough to do a wee, so I don't see any point in forcing her to go in. Fortunately she has a very capacious bladder and can go a few hours between wees, but she has wet herself on a few occasions because she hasn't been able to hold on until we've got home.

She is also terrified of my hairdryer and the hoover - basically anything that makes a loud droning noise. I have no idea what to do about it - I just make sure I always have a change of clothes with me in case of accidents. I'm hoping she will grow out of it soon.....

Tommy · 19/03/2008 16:48

my DS was like this. Hes 6 now and has grown out of it. I can't say I remember how or when he did, but it does hapen!

Calisteregg · 19/03/2008 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

jollydo · 19/03/2008 18:21

Thanks for replies. It is always good to know that you are not alone!
We have used disabled loo aswell, for the same reason. Also my dh sometimes switches the dryer off at the wall (usually too high for me!) to show him that it can't go on. But in the last few days even those things haven't worked, and he won't go in a loo even if there isn't a hand dryer in there - it is strange how powerful these fears are.
Thinking about it, we have been staying with family and going out in strange city, so maybe that has made him extra anxious.
I like the ear muffs idea - he might go for that especially if they're pink & fluffy .

OP posts:

bigbadwulf · 19/03/2008 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OverMyDeadBody · 19/03/2008 18:47

My DS is like this, his biggest fear however is the noise of the flush in airoplane loos, we've has some huge screaming fits in the past just at the prospect of going into the plane toilet!

Now he will use them if he is absolutely desperate but on the condition that it isn't flushed until he's back in his seat.

Hand-dryers in public toilets also used to casue a lot od distress. The only consolation I can offer is that they do grow out of it. At 5 he will happily even dry his hands under them!

OverMyDeadBody · 19/03/2008 18:48

When DS was little he would rather go in drains in alleyways then have to go into public loos and risk a hand-dryer being on when he was in there! At least with boys this is quite easy!

perpetualworrier · 19/03/2008 18:52

Yes my DS1 was like this. He was even scared of ordinary bathroom extractor fans and wet himself everyday at nursery becuase he wouldn't use their toilet. (The staff refused to belive the fan was the issue and just said it was because he didn't want to leave what he was doing).

We went to Cenerparcs when he was 3 and no-one was allowed to turn the bathroom light on because then he wouldn't go in there until the fan stopped

The public toilet thing was finally solved when DS2 was toilet trained and enjoyed useing the hand dryers, so DS1 started to wonder what he was missing

Marne · 19/03/2008 18:52

Dd1 hates hand dryers, she screems if she spots one even if its not blowing.

kikid · 19/03/2008 22:54

I think this is common, my daughter was terrified of the hand dryers, whn she was about 4, I'm sure it was the noise, she would refuse to go into the toilet, i would have to promise her that I WOULD'NT LET ANYONE USE THE DRYER, SORRY CAPS, most ladies were understanding & I did resort to carrying paper towel in my bag!!

I never use them as they are known to be very unhygenic, eventually she did grow out of this and would say loudly , "the hand dryers are unhigenic arn't they mummy"!!

Smee · 20/03/2008 10:50

Ear muffs from Claire's Accessories are always pink and fluffy, or at the very least leopard skin.. DS went for the pink fluffy ones and wears them with pride. v.cute, though it has got a few funny looks from other mums which annoys me. After all it's only a colour..

kamsmum · 20/03/2008 11:01

My DD was also terrified of them - of anything which makes a noise in fact.
She is now 5 and is really getting over it -to the extent that she will even sometimes attempt to dry her hands, rather than running back into the cubicle for toilet roll!

I can really see why they are so terrifying for tiny little ones - they are always way up on the wall and blow hot air on top of them! Why do they not position some dryers at child height?

lol at the ear muffs! I wish I had thought of that! GENIUS!

Twinkie1 · 20/03/2008 11:03

We use alcohol gel with ours as they refused to go in loos with hand dryers - if you have the gel you don't even have to wash hands in there so don't use the dryers and so shouldn't be scared!

dylsmum1998 · 20/03/2008 14:01

twinkie those gels are a good idea but havent found one that doesnt upset ds or my excema

jangly · 20/03/2008 14:05

Could you take a portable potty (Potette I think they are called) with you and use it at the car perhaps? Or find some quiet corner.

etchasketch · 20/03/2008 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

becaroo · 20/03/2008 14:21

My ds (4) hates them too, so much so he ueed to really cry and hated using public loos.

I bought some of that anti bac hand gel that you just rub in and he is now fine and is happy to use public loos as long as we have "magic soap"

(Those dryers dont dry your hands properly anyway and my son has excema on his hands and the heat isnt good for his skin)

dylsmum1998 · 20/03/2008 14:37

agreed the dryers are not good for skin, hence i have a hand towel in my bag. but those gels make him cry his hands are burning. have not found one that doesnt irritate his excema

Twinkie1 · 20/03/2008 14:40

DS has excema and the M&S one works ok on him - give it a try.

dylsmum1998 · 20/03/2008 14:43

i didnt realise they did one, i have used about 5 different ones so far. will get some of that next time i go to somewhere with a m&s we dont have a local one. will try it on me first cos if it irritates my hands it wil kill his.

mumfor1standfinaltime · 20/03/2008 14:43

We have had this too. Ds would not go in a public loo with me (not even in the pushchair when in nappies!)at all without a major fling of the arms, battle to the ground and screaming session! As for hand dryers - nightmare! I remember trying to change his nappy at around age 2 in a museum and he screamed the place down, when I then started to potty/toilet train it got worse.

I tried to distract him and to take him into the cubicle with me every time I went in to the loo when out, or I would just pretend I needed to go just to get him used to it. I would totally ignore any screaming and just narrate myself through it -
Right lets have a wee, flush the chain, ooh look lets wash our hands etc..
It is really hard because people do stare, just ignore them!

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