Is there something wrong with my 2 year old?

[Agadododo000000]

Hi,
My son has just turned 2. When he was little I always knew there was something not right but I was fobbed off repeatedly right up until my son was 18 months so I gave up. However, his symptoms are becoming more apparent and his father and other family members now finally agree there is just 'something' not right. I love my son and I don't like children labelled but I think he may benefit therapy to help with his sensory issues. He is very clever, he can count to 20, knows all the colours, shapes, alphabet, nursery rhymes, has good language skills can ask for things, putting 3 words together. He is very social, loves dancing and singing. He imitates you on phone etc and does some imaginative play.
The things that don't seem typical are:

• He's very fussy, only thing he eats are mini pizza and crisps, he won't eat saucy/lumpy foods or home cooked meals
• he gets very upset when he gets things on his hands, such as paint/ sauce etc
• he gags when he gets things in his mouth
• he is very scared of loud noises and hoover
• gets very upset when you wash his hands and face, and very upset by the word no

-runs off in public

• he does this very unusual almost evil laugh randomly when he is tired or agitated
• he doesnt answer yes or no or shake his head but does say 'no' occasionally
• he does seem to be aggressive at times, hitting
• he doesn't seem to smile often
• he's very clumsy and falls over often
• struggles to self feed and isn't attempting to get dressed by himself.

I'm a little confused as I know it sounds like autism but I'm not sure because of how good his language is. I was just wondering if anyone else had experience of this? I did think my son had a stroke or brain injury at birth. I'm in the medical field and he didn't have a grasp reflex on left side and there were other red flags but I was refused an MRI.

Thanks for any advice/input

I forgot to mention he is very hyperactive. It is a challenge taking him most places in public except softplay due to his behaviour, it is very challenging at times

I agree that it sounds like he has some sensory challenges. Have you got a pair of toddler ear defenders for him, to help with the loud sounds? Are you getting any support with his eating, if his list of foods is so limited (2?) and he gags a lot?

A lot of the other stuff is a question of degree – things like clumsiness, hitting, running off, and hyperactivity are all typical toddler behaviours, but equally, it does reach a point where it isn't so typical. That's hard to judge from just writing, I'm afraid. Things like self-feeding, can he do finger foods (including small things like peas or sweetcorn) and use a spoon (with a little bit of mess)? Use a fork? I don't think many can really dress themselves at just 2, perhaps slightly better at undressing (although I know some love being naked and therefore have getting undressed cracked at this point).

Do you have a 24 month HV visit where you are? (Ours is 27 months, not 24.) Here's the questionnaire they usually use: https://portsmouth.tricare.mil/Portals/130/24%20month%20asq.pdf. It generally gives a good overview of development across different categories. (Don't forget to check the scoring sheet at the back; they never expect all yeses in a section.)

Yes he has ear defenders, but he doesn't like them! So, I hoover when he isn't around. He is under the dietician but I don't feel she is very helpful. We haven't met her face to face, all our appointments are by phone. Initially, she said it was my fault, I was being too lenient and offering him substitutes when he didn't eat stuff and that I should take his plate away after 20 minutes and not offer anything else(it seemed very harsh). I tried that but he still won't eat, then she suggested putting lots if food on his tray throughout the day so he plays with it and gets used to it. Also, not very helpful. So, that is where we are at. I can see him grimace when I put the food down, he definitely has a food aversion. I agree also, I think he has sensory issues. When we go on the swings, his eyes roll back; you can see its a really strong sensory experience for him.

Thank you for the link it's very helpful. He scored well on his assessment except he was behind on expressive/receptive language I think. His eating is a worry, and I would say his behaviour is very challenging.

I think I am going to request another referral to the paediatrician and put my foot down. My sons symptoms aren't immediately obvious, this is the problem I have. Paediatricians/HV see him for 10 minutes abd say he is fine. But, if they spent a day with him they would see what I mean!

Even when he eats his pizza, he will stop eating and be put off even if he gets a tiny bit of tomatoe on his finger, he kind of scrunched his face up. So, I definitely won't sit and play with the food. But, he is very social. He likes you to sit on the floor and play with him all day. But to give you an example of his behaviour, we will be dancing to the wiggles on YouTube then he will suddenly throw himself on the floor for no reason and have a melt down. He also wakes up crying in the mornings. I can see something is bothering him in his mind and it makes me sad he can't just be happy

Hi @Agadododo000000 I really felt the need to comment because I have a very similar 2 year old boy and I’m currently wondering if he is ND also.

The food aversion is similar although mine does it more out of defiance than an actual physical reaction to the food. If he knows you want him to eat it, he will refuse. It all has to be on his terms but its constantly a battle between letting him have control and making sure he has enough to eat.

My son is the same with things on his hands - hates any kind of food mess or mud on him. He is also very fussy about his feet, if socks are loose or his welly falls off in the car het finds this very upsetting.

The swing thing really stood out to me though! My son is the same, he loves it. He will sit on a swing for over an hour at a park sometimes, with his eyes rolling like he is falling asleep. Is there anything else your son enjoys like this? Mine definitely has a fascination with tipping things out and putting them back, currently its a specific small pack of crayons. He’s also really good at colours, shapes, numbers.

How does he act around other people? Mine is perfectly charming with strangers or with his childminder. Bit of a little so and so at home.

Hi,

Yes my will swing for hours too. He also likes running in circles, jumping, turning lights on and off and like your son taking things out of boxes and putting them back in ( but alot of that could be NT). I think organising items is a developmental milestone so don't think we need to worry about that.

Oh really? My son is the same with everyone, very demanding and hitting. When we go out in public, my son isn't interested in other people. But if children try and get too close he kind of widens his eyes and screeches in their faces,he also does this with my cats.

We went to softplay today and there were 2 autistic kids there, 1 was 3 and 1 was 4 and they were obviously autistic. One had a vocal stim and one was non verbal and did unusual hand and head movements.

I do think my son is ND but I do think it's autism, I think he had a brain injury at birth, because I know this can lead to autistic traits and he had a very traumatic birth and there were lots of red flags. He was delivered by forceps but he was too big and they couldnt get him out and his HR dropped. He had nystagmus for 6 weeks, no grasp reflex, hypotonia, subconjunctival haemorrhage to both eyes etc. His paediatrician agreed with my concerns but still refused an MRI and wanted to 'wait and see'

But I would push for an assessment if you're concerned, because mothers know when some thing is wrong. Also with wait times best to get on the waiting list, and early intervention is key while there is still some neuroplasticity

Even at 9 months my son wasn't doing much of anything, he couldn't sit up, his head was very wobbly, he had 100% headlag during pull to sit. Even then the paediatrician refused to do any tests. Then, by 12 months he had a developmental leap and was crawling so he discharged him. I just gave up at that point, I decided his symptoms weren't that severe and it would likely to be picked up when he started school. But the sensory issues are becoming such a problem. Especially with his eating and behaviour

Sorry, a bit slow to get back to this thread. If you posted something in one of the special needs sections, you might get some better advice on the eating. I know there are posters there whose children have very limited food they eat.

The advice I heard is to always give one of his 'safe' foods but put out a new food as well – just there, no pressure to eat it or even touch it. The theory is that with a lot of repeated exposure but no pressure, they have the best chance to slowly accept new foods. I think I'd be tempted to try something similar to what he does eat, maybe mini plain naan or pita bread as similar to the pizza base (and with no troublesome sauce to get on his fingers, although you could melt some cheese on) or a thin crispy cracker as a bit similar to a crisp?

If he loves swinging, does he seem calmer or happier at all after doing it?