Fearfulness/anxiety in 2.11 yo DS

[madmumNika]

DS will turn 3 next month, although he was born 10 weeks prematurely... I am worried by some of his behaviour and although probably within the realms of 'normal' for his age I'd really appreciate some advice if possible!

Since last June he developed a fear of loud noises, especially planes, motorbikes, food processors, roadwork drills etc. We've worked hard to reassure him and he is naturally exposed to many of these most days, and seems to be just about ok now- will still sometimes need a hug but no longer goes into floods of frightened tears. However today he surprised us by being very frightened at toddler group by some castanets. There was a bit of a music session (which usually he enthusiastically loves) and of course was very loud but he went back to the behaviour of last summer- being very frightened, in near hysteria and then very fearful of everything vaguely unusual for the rest of the day.

A couple of months ago he also developed a sudden but profound fear of snails and still is scared of them (but will walk where we see some, so long as I'm holding his hand).

He is usually a confident, happy, energetic child- he spend 2 days a week with a childminder who is also a very good friend but is with me the rest of the time, he mixes well with other children of his age, goes outside a lot, travels to lots of different places and I do try to 'expose' him to as much as possible in as safe/calm way...

I hate seeing him so very upset and with all the rationalising in the world couldn't seem to calm him down today. Is there something I've done to cause this? I don't remember any single event that triggered this behaviour...

Please help! xx

It is almost absolutely, certainly, nothing you have done.

There may be all sorts of explanations including sensory sensitivity or just phases of development to well, all sorts!

I think it is helpful to try to mention this to a professional, like your gp, not because there is necessarily anything unusual but because outside bodies might have some useful advice about how to help him relax in noisy environments.

Bearing in mind that some people just don't like loud noises.

My DD1 was also very sensitive to noise. Now, at 4.6 much less so, and generally much easier to parent than at 2 and 3. I cannot recommend this book highly enough: Parenting the Highly Sensitive Child - it changed my understanding of her and therefore my parenting, and things improved so much. Please read it!

Thank you to you both, you have made me feel better already, and I googled Parenting the Highly Sensitive Child and read some of the 'traits' associated with being a highly sensitive child and I think many of them ring true for DS (& also for me as a child!). Have ordered the book

I am also going to mention this to the GP, it's been going on for a while and I haven't mentioned it- guess I hoped it was a phase that he would have grown out of by now. We have to see the GP for DS's eczema anyhow so can mention it then, just in case they have any ideas....

My dd was like this and ds1 (2.4) seems to be going that way too. DD was very sensitive in all areas it's nothing you have done just their natural personality. It's a big world full of lots of sounds, people etc that can be terrifying for someone so young.

My dd is fine now btw (she's 5 next month) and makes noise herself louder than anything that could frighten her.