Screen addiction, help!

[Mumtoboys1]

I have a 7 + almost 9 year old, 9 year old is basically fully dependent on screens especially in the house, he doesn't want to do anything else and 7 year old Is heading that way too. Has anyone else had this experience or tried limiting screen time dramatically? Any tips? They are both homeschooled and dad works on computer so they are also both exposed to it everyday and we do use computer for educational purposes with their learning. But it's the repetitive boring mundane quite frankly crap videos they choose to watch, even if I try and control what they watch they just don't. With the world growing more and more towards technology and I doubt I'll be heading to live in the forest anytime soon I would at least like to enjoy what it has to offer like good movies with my kids but they can't even tolerate that it's just absolute crap what they watch if I'm honest ! And my 8 year old constantly has something glued in his hands watching or playing. It's becoming a battle! Also making homeschooling hard, If we are in the house ( which is a lot lately because it's freezing ) and I'm not fully engaged doing things with them they can't concentrate.

(This is while we are not busy ect, while we are out it is ok if occupied, and eldest is ASD)

Oh my god you have the same life as me (almost) ! I have an 8 and 12 year old both home schooled and both obsessed with any type of screen, whether that’s iPad, laptop, tv (we have a 75” tv in living room) or even a games watch ! From the second they wake until the moment they fall asleep it’s a screen. I hate it. I’ve tried explaining how bad it is for them and how unhealthy it is and they just aren’t bothered. I’ve stopped them taking iPad’s to bed with great protest and stopped them playing games before school work as this was all they spoke about during schooling. I’ve tried getting them fun educational things to do like grow your own crystals or make and decorate your own solar system which they seem to enjoy until it’s finished then ask to go straight back on iPad 😡 I try and get them out as much as possible but let’s be honest we don’t even want to be out in this weather never mind getting them out haha. I know I haven’t offered any help etc but just wanted you to know you are not alone x

Some people with ASD find that screens can be a comfort or coping strategy. Could there be an underlying anxiety contributing to the amount of screentime they feel they need?

@Rachaelc1981 oh it is nice to know I'm not alone! Sorry you're facing the same struggles, it's difficult isn't it, they have so much stuff to do with new Christmas gifts and still no interest unless I am there and handhold them through all of it with 100% enthusiasm which is so exhausting especially when my 2 fight all the time! Have you ever attempted for a period of time to reduce it?

@Scirocco well originally it came in very handy as when my eldest was young he was VERY active and was quite inappropriate in a sense he would look in people's bags in public ect and go through cupboards in people's houses so playing some educational games ect really helped ground him and keep him stable in a way. Things were very different then it was very minimal and I had complete control whereas now screens are everywhere and they even let him go on iPad in school so it's just seems impossible. Plus he chooses to play games where there's no predictability so it doesn't calm his anxieties instead causes them

Are you sure you are not me? Haha you are exactly the same as me, tonnes of new things for toys but straight back to trusty iPad ! I had to bribe it from them on Christmas Eve and day !! I have to pile the enthusiasm into them but like you say it’s so exhausting especially when you have a 2.5 year old under your feet as well haha. Yeah I’m really trying to cut the time down but the arguments and screaming matches is ridiculous, I’m too soft and give in coz I can’t be bothered with the hassle some of the time. How about you? X

This does not sound like home schooling is working.

They need serious time away from screens and to learn to live in the real world.

1-2 hours a day isn't damaging, but the behaviours you're talking about are a sign things aren't right.

@Rachaelc1981 exactly the same no alternative seems to be manageable if we aren't out or actively doing learning all together they're begging for it!

@turkeymuffin exactly my concern! It's not so much about the amount of time as when things are planned days out ect they are fine it's just the amount they're asking for it that is getting in the way, and obviously I can't be out all day everyday with constant entertainment, it's just being at home I feel I can't even take 5 minutes most of the time without it being chaos, being bored is something kids need to be sometimes to learn how to play ect but mine can't seem to deal with it

Yeah my boys are exactly the same but it’s really hard getting them out when it’s bloody -4 outside !! X

I know it’s not easy but you are going to have to face the pain and discomfort of being super strict about it. Create a ‘contract’ with them where you collaboratively agree on what screen time is going to be (maybe start it on the lower side so they can haggle it up a bit). Screen addiction is an easily accessible source of dopamine and so everything else feels boring in comparison.
Easy wins to start with - no screens for the first hour of the day, no screens at meal times, no screens until all other things that need doing are done. They need a detox

We have been doing no Roblox or YouTube for about 4 days it's been really difficult but have seen some improvements. My eldest however who was worse with it is struggling more and constantly asking everyday and saying things everynight which is similar to someone with depression and it's so painful to hear which obviously tugs on my heart. Makes me feel terrible that we've taken away everything they 'enjoy' have spoke about soon re introducing a choice of their own either an hour on Roblox or YouTube, eldest has ASD and hyperfocus when it comes to games (will get so frustrated while playing if he doesn't complete wanted challenge or win) which I struggle to understand why he would choose to play such games if it causes him such stress, and is difficult to manage which is why we've enforced stricter rules based around it.