3 year old hates all classes

[Rattles1]

Hi All,

My 3 year old goes to nursery (since 12 months) and is very happy there with his friends and teachers. He goes full time. He is chatty, enjoys playing and is one the more vocal / social kids (at nursery)

However, we have tried a few classes with him in the last six months, and he gets completely clingy, latches onto us, cries / sort of tantrum that he wants to go home. Took him to a football class last week and he wouldn't even try or let go to kick the ball. Same thing at a scooter class. So we came back home. All the other kids were happily playing, and those that did cry initially calmed down.

Any tips please, should I persevere, or leave it. I am realizing maybe he is not as confident as I thought, and would like him to enjoy these things, but don't want to force him... but wish he would atleast give it a go.

Tia

How is his communication? Have you talked about doing these classes with him, are they things he wants to try?

If they are things he wants to do, how many times are you trying a class before giving up? Perhaps you've done this, but I would be tempted to try going somewhere just to watch initially – absolutely no expectation that he's going to join in or move from your side, you're just going to watch and see what it's about. He may just need a chance to get the measure of the place/people.

Thank you for replying

His communication is great , you can have a conversation with him. He plays and talks to his friends etc. For example with the football , we told him and he said he’s going football, was excited to put his kit on , but when we got there just clung to me and said he wants to go home and no etc. It was first day for most of the kids there.

I don’t know if nursery is home from home and he’s very comfortable or something else. I give up after the first session tbh - just hate the looks I get. But did try and stay for most of the session this time, but he just didn’t give it a go.

Show him photos or videos so he can get an idea of what to expect. Also Talk to the coach or class instructor about what is happening. They can give you tips on how to help your child feel more comfortable.

Just leave him for how, retry when he's a bit older

If he's not bothered about doing it, I'd agree with leaving it for a bit.

If he wants to do it – and it's perfectly reasonable to want to do something but still find it hard to jump into it – then I think you might have to be prepared to go more than once. Perhaps talk to the teacher about just observing at first, so he/she knows what's going on?

I'd also make really sure your wee one knows that it's absolutely fine to just sit with you and watch. Hopefully that way, he'll be calmer, and you'll get fewer looks, so you'll be more relaxed, which will make him more relaxed and so on.

How is he with unfamiliar places/people outside of classes. If you went to a new soft play, for example?

Full time Nursery is enough at 3. Our local Primary doesn't recommend that they start classes until at the very earliest Summer term in Reception. He's very little still and will want to spend time with you.

Thanks All , all good ideas. I think we will give it one more try to go and watch - if he still hates it, will leave it.

@skkyelark he’s ok at soft play but that’s normally a play date - where we go with a nursery friend etc. He does still do the saying no / clinging at other places, like for example when we went to a school. But there couple the teachers really gave him time and then he was fine , shyer, but still engaged / smiled etc. He wasn’t able to just walk in and play etc like some of the other kids , it was a tantrum and then when he got to know someone he was ok