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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

"I'm sticking with you, pom pom, cause I'm made out of glue" DD's clingyness is driving me a bit loopy....

17 replies

mazzystar · 18/03/2008 13:24

She's 13 months and I know its the classic age for separation anxiety but it seems to be scaling new heights of ridiculousness. Literally wouldn't let me put her down at all yesterday.

I keep thinking it will be better once she is walking but at the moment I can't see her doing that any time soon as she basically treats me like a form of transport, clings on like I'm a camel and points in the direction she wants to go.

If she has a developmental need to be close to me I don't want to stop her, but my poor sweet patient little DS, who is 3.5 isn't getting a look in.

Any words of advice?

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HonoriaGlossop · 18/03/2008 14:02

that is a very funny and cute picture, her pointing in the direction she wants you to travel

With ds' clinginess I went with it as far as humanly possible, in the belief that giving him the security he wanted would help him gain confidence all the quicker - which I believe it did.

On occasion though, you just HAVE to get stuff done and I think in that case you need to put her down and just not agonise about it; hard when she's crying but her tears will soon stop. And it's well worth making a point I think of acknowledging that your ds needs a cuddle too, otherwise he will get resentful even with his clearly sweet little character

Just don't agonise!

Original poster

mazzystar · 18/03/2008 15:04

Thanks HG.

Anyone got any idea about how long this is meant to last? DS was toddling by 11 months so its all a bit of a surprise.

OP posts:

shabster · 18/03/2008 15:09

mstar - my DS still is like that with me and he bought his own house 3 years ago and is 26 now!!

HuwEdwards · 18/03/2008 15:13

lol at 'she basically treats me like a form of transport, clings on like I'm a camel and points in the direction she wants to go.'

Iknow, I'm no help.

lentengrrl · 18/03/2008 15:45

i love that song.

held up a stagecoach in the rain
now I'm doing the same

my dd2 is the same. and now we carry her around the house with her arm waving in the direction she wants to go and we sing the music from the sir digby chicken caeser sketch by mitchell and webb. god I hope somebody knows what I mean, cos I am flailing here...

AnybodyHomeMcFly · 18/03/2008 21:37

duddly dum duddly dum, derr derr derr derr derr derr derr derr

AnybodyHomeMcFly · 18/03/2008 21:39

Ahem, anyway, DS was like this for a while - literally wouldn't let me out of his sight and screamed if he couldn't see me, even if it was just when he was in car seat and I was putting stuff in boot. It was wearing but it did pass. Sorry not sure that's much help except to say that she won't be like this forever.... but then you knew that!

blueshoes · 18/03/2008 22:00

dd, 4.8 is still like this. Superindependent in school, but the minute she comes home reverts to baby-ish behaviour and wants me to carry her almost everywhere. And at times, cannot bear for me not to be in close contact with her. Hugs and clings like anything. Her separation anxiety started at 5 months. It comes and goes.

barking · 18/03/2008 22:07

My dc3 is still like this and he is nearly 3
Blueshoes - I'm worried my dc3 will have problems starting nursery, how are you and your dd coping?

blueshoes · 18/03/2008 22:14

barking, some children are clingier than others. In dd's case, once ds (3 years younger) started getting mobile, that sparked major regression in her. But I do get lots of cuddles and kisses, and her face lights up for me when I come to pick her up, so she does make up for it. How we cope? Not very well, sometimes I indulge, sometimes I get shouty, esp if she acts up when ds acts up. I still take the buggy everywhere because we cannot carry her for long distances.

I would not worry too much about your ds. Just take the time to settle him in nursery. He is old enough to enjoy nursery. Although he might be teary at drop off, if the carers tell you he settles almost immediately after, take that as a good sign.

Dd is completely different at nursery and now school. Very independent and keen to do things herself. It has been her making. But once I am there, she reverts. I assume she will grow out of it. Not sure what is rocking her world. I can only be patient.

barking · 18/03/2008 22:25

Blueshoes - yes the love and cuddles I get with him are so so lovely. He will probably be my last one so there must be a bit of indulging him on my part but my back is killing me! He won't even go in the trolley at the supermarket so I have him on my hip and we travel sideways into other shoppers - Oh the madness!

I guess I am anticipating for him and he may be fine, just that I have never had this with my other 2, he has always been like this, and I've always responded too quickly to stop the squawking. Maybe it's important to squawk and go through it.

callmeovercautious · 18/03/2008 22:31

This too will pass

DD was the same and as a late walker (16m) it wa becoming tireing! Does LO crawl yet? I found that helped a bit.

pinkypig · 18/03/2008 22:36

Mine is the same at 18 months. I tried to ignore (for a couple of days) but that just lead to tantrums and upset us both. I have resigned myself to being led round the house for hours. Just hope it passes before #2 arrives in July .

blueshoes · 18/03/2008 22:40

barking, oh god, if you can, go for the cuddles and not the sqwarks. I am sure your ds and my dd will grow out of it eventually.

It was my fault. Before I had children, I saw this pre-teen on a train sitting with her arms around her mother and her head in the crook of her neck. I thought how nice it would be to have a dd like that, as my mother and I were never close in that way. Looks like I do, lol.

barking · 19/03/2008 06:41

Blueshoes - that's a lovely image.

I remember going into our local village with ds1 when he was a few weeks old. A very elderly lady stopped me and started cooing over him, she then began to cry as she had sent both sons to boarding school when they were very young and had never forgiven herself. She said she felt so sad when she saw babies as it reminded her of what little time she spent with hers.

We shall one day miss their little arms around our neck, waist, leg, ankle....

Original poster

mazzystar · 19/03/2008 09:57

this is true and I often think of how sad it will be not to have a soft little somebody draped all over me

but , gosh its hard work. dd has been crawing since she was 7 months and has set a world landspeed record, cruises and climbs. but she would rather press her entire body against mine at all times. we co-sleep to - through everyone's choice - so its not like she's contact deprived, little minx.

my shoulder is beginning to give out

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dreamydowler · 19/03/2008 11:39

hi , My daughter is 18 months and is exactly the same which is driving me nuts at the moment too. She is such a sweet loving litle girl but her clinginess is getting ridiculous too. I cant even get up to answer the phone without her becoming hysterical. Sometimes I just have to switch off but its hard

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