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Behaviour/development

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Every breastfeeding session feels like a battle and I'm losing

4 replies

Shozers · 07/01/2024 20:11

My LO was super gassy when he was a newborn-- had to burp him constantly and there was just a lot of on and off the boob for every feed. He's my second, feeding my firstborn was so easy. Anyway, I'm not really sure when it happened but I think maybe from those gassy days and all the burping and crying involved with that, he developed a bf aversion. I've only come across the term in recent googling but it seems to be exactly what he has! He arches his back when I offer him the boob and when I finally am able to touch the nipple to his mouth despite him squirming and fussing, he takes a few big gulps and then lets go shouting. It definitely doesn't seem like he's in pain. He just seems very annoyed with me whenever I try to get him to feed. He easily goes 6 hours or more without being interested during the day. Nighttimes have always been completely different. He has pretty much always woken up every hour during the night and often feeds. So I've known he's getting all his milk calories in during the night. He takes solids really well during the day. Needless to say, I'm exhausted from all the waking and feeding at night and finally decided to have a go at proper sleep training (3-5-7 method) because I'm desperate to have sleep again and all my other attempts have been cut short due to exhaustion/not being able to follow through because I hate to hear him cry. So I'm going to give it a go. We have done two nights now and it's going as well as can be expected. However, I was really hoping he would start taking milk better in the day but that has not been the case. So now I'm worried that he's not going to get sufficient milk because I'm no longer feeding him at night. For the last week I've been waiting till he's fallen asleep for his naps and then going in and doing sleep feeds. Which works but it can be tough to time it right and sometimes he doesn't nap properly afterwards. It just doesn't feel sustainable. I need advice! How did you overcome a bf aversion? I know now that I shouldn't have tried to force him to feed because that makes things worse, but I'm desperate for him to keep breastfeeding! I don't have the set up for pumping at all but I will turn to that if I can't figure this all out.

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Shozers · 07/01/2024 22:57

I should add that my LO is 9 months. Also sorry for the lengthiness but I feel like there's a lot to it 🤦

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Twistedlogic · 09/01/2024 23:45

That sounds exhausting! How long has he not been wanting to breastfeed for? Combined with the previous gassiness could it be that you have quite a strong letdown and he is reacting to that? The Kellymom website is great for advice if you haven't seen it already, look up nursing strike and also oversupply/forceful letdown. I had a stronger letdown with my 2nd than 1st baby and found that dream-feeding seemed to help, maybe because he didn't latch quite so forcefully!

Petrie99 · 12/01/2024 13:07

Mine had a phase of this at 9m also and I realised it was because his solid intake had increased so much that he didn't really need as much milk in the day as I was offering. He also became very highly alert and distractible so if I tried to feed he would push the boob away or bite. However when his solids intake dived he upped his feeds again. I fed just after naps, overnight and before bed etc, any other time was firmly refused for a while. It made me very stressed and had it continued for longer I think I would have given up. Definitely look up nursing strike, ours sort of resolved itself until 12m when it happened again

Shozers · 15/01/2024 15:07

Thanks for your responses! My little guy seems to be taking in more milk during the day now that it's been over a week of no night feeds (between 10:00 and 6:00) and then I take him in with me and he has a decent morning feed. It also seems to help somewhat if I feed laying down during the day and I've really stopped pressuring him, I just offer the boob instead and I think he is showing less attitude now that I've chilled out about it. Each day is different and sleep training is still a work in progress but I'm feeling much less anxious about the breastfeeding situation than I was a few weeks ago!

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