Don't want to go anywhere with toddler

[singlemum93]

My son is 3 just turned.. I am so fed up with his behaviour. I do so much with him but every single outing turns into a tantrum with me literally dragging him back to the car or in his pram etc. I am so fed up.
He doesn't seem to be happy anywhere. Yesterday we went to the park and he splashed in a huge puddle for about 30 minutes.. he had a snow suit on and wellies so it was fine and I waited for him to finish but I could literally walk off and leave him and he wouldn't care. Doesn't listen to any instructions I'm just constantly chasing him. Today we did sealife centre and went round twice but he became very tantrumy so again had to drag him out kicking and screaming to the car and pin him down into his car seat. It makes me really upset and angry... is this just normal toddler behaviour as I only have friends with little girls who are much more calm and easy ? I'm just wondering if anyone else feels like this as it just makes me want to stay at home and not go anywhere... anyone else feel the same? Exhausted

Boys can be different than girls yes, but if he's not responding to you and running off would you say he has an awareness of danger? Does he go to Nursery or Preschool and have they mentioned anything?

Yes he goes to nursery he seems to be the opposite there and they haven't mentioned anything. He's behind with his speech but it is improving. But no I don't necessarily think he has much awareness of danger

Ok so if he's tantrumming, behind with his speech and has little sense of danger is the HV seeing him regularly? If not, I'd call her and ask her to score the 3 year Social & Emotional Ages & Stages and the 36 month Ages & Stages.

You can score them yourself though, I think the scoring is at the end I think? Don't worry too much of they score grey in a couple of areas, this is perfectly normal. If he's scoring in the black though or is in grey for more than two areas I'd ask the HV to refer him for assessment.

This is like my son, he's 2.5 but the transition away from anything fun isn't worth it so I'm starting to just not bother 😖

@PinkMimosa thank you for that I will print these out and do them tomorrow. I'm not particularly worried enough to get in contact with health visitor although may be an idea. It's more just when we are out of the house it's hard work. At home he generally is quite good at following instructions etc

That's good. Has he been referred for SLT if he has speech delay?

My DS was like this!!! He's almost 5 now and the first 3-4 years were so hard. I never wanted to go anywhere with him and I when I did I was always on edge and worried he would run off into traffic. it was so stressful and I swear it's aged me by ten years.

Here are a couple of things I learned over time to make outings easier:

stick to activities he's interested in
set a time limit and make sure he know, and give him regular reminders "I.e - we are leaving in 10 mins, leaving in 5 mins, leaving in 3 mins etc" I would set timers too so he knew when the timer went it was time to leave. Make the sound of leaving exciting like let's leave and go have some lunch/watch tv at home etc

Bribe/entice him into leaving with a nice snack or toy - this made the process so much easier. I people say don't bribe your child but the people who say this have kids who aren't so spirited!!

DS is now almost 5 and much more fun/easier to go out with although he does have his over tired moments.

It's definitely a personality thing with my DS. My second child is just so much more compliant! I love DS' strong will and he's so cheeky and loving. I just wish he'd listen and have more awareness of danger 😅 I caught him trying to jump from a table onto an arm chair the other day and he was trying to reach DD 2 to do the same FML