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Please read - 2yo not saying ANYTHING

4 replies

Mmamadness · 04/01/2024 19:56

Before I begin - I know there are a lot of other threads about this. I have read every single one that I can find, but now have even more concerns. Long post ahead.

My DS has just turned 2 years old and does not say a single word. The only sound he makes is "dah" as in "that", which he says whilst pointing to/ looking at something. He very rarely says ma / mama or dada. It's just always "dah".

On every other thread on here that I have read, the OPs child can at least say a few words at this age, albeit not many, but at least some. I would be thrilled if he said any real word at this point.

I desperately want to get him a private SLT. My health visitor has referred him for NHS SLT but we are still waiting for an appointment to come through and it has been months. She said it's good that he communicates in other ways (I.e. if he wants me to refill his water bottle he will bring me his empty bottle and a large bottled water that I use to refill it. If he is watching cartoons and wants me to change the chanel he brings me the remote). She says this shows that he can communicate just not verbally, and then went on to essentially blame me for this by saying I anticipate what he wants too much.

By this she means that in the case of him needing anything, I.e to refill his bottle, I will just do it for him. I stressed to her that I always say to him "do you want more water? I will refill your water bottle. Here is your water, drink your water" to try and reinforce the word. I also just go simple and sometimes just say "water" a few times but still he just refers to it as "dah".

when he points at things and asks "dah?" I ask him "what is it/ what dat?", pause to give him the chance to say the word and when he doesn't say anything, I tell him what it is. It's usually a dog as he really likes dogs. I've been trying to teach him the word dog for over a year.

I'm at a loss, after the HVs comments I feel like this is all my fault. I so desperately just want him to talk to me and really do not want him to fall behind his peers developmentally.

He has been tested for hearing and has passed the tests, I know he can hear me perfectly. He knows his name, likes to play both alone and together, tries to play with children in the park/ soft play area but they often show little interest because he can't speak and it breaks my heart.

He developed very early in terms of crawling, walking, etc I just want to know if there is anything I can do to improve his speech? Does anyone else have similar experience? Please share as I feel like I have failed him.

OP posts:
char2108 · 05/01/2024 15:02

Hi
I didn't want to read and run! I know how it can feel!
My little boy is 2 on Monday and although he does a few words I know he is behind!
I just wanted to reply hoping I could give you some reassurance!
I read so many posts about 2 year olds having an explosion of language and to be honest my son has really come on in the last few weeks, he also started with 'dat' and pointing to everything and then I'd say a few weeks and it turned into more words!

Please don't feel like it's your fault, it absolutely isn't! The HV shouldn't have made you feel like that at all!

What I'm saying is, keep hope! They change so much overnight and I'm sure within a few weeks he'll start saying words!

Does he go to a nursery or anything? That may help?
My son is starting in feb and I'm really hoping it brings him on. The teacher at the school told me how many children she had that didn't talk up to the age of 3 so we aren't the only ones to worry!!x

PinkMimosa · 05/01/2024 15:32

Sounds very much like my DD at that age.

I'm sorry the HV made you feel this way. Are you able to chase up the SLT appointment?

My HV basically adopted a "wait and see" approach with my DD and kept saying it was really good that she could understand but what my DD really needed was support.

I'd recommend doing this progress checker. No doubt it will say that "You answered no to some important questions" but then you'll be able to book a free appointment with one of their SLTs.

Did the HV give you a date when she's going to see him again?

Mmamadness · 05/01/2024 18:23

Thank you so much for your reply, it was very helpful! I have completed the questionnaire and booked a call back, which is some weight lifted that I actually might be listened to.

I'm sorry you went through this with your daughter as well, though it is equally as comforting to know I'm not completely alone. How old is your daughter now? When did she start talking?

My HV is not coming back until June to complete my DDs 9 month assessment, and says she will reassess my son at that point. It just feels like she doesn't seem to bothered about it and constantly stressed how over worked and busy they all are - which I totally understand, but at the end of the day it is there job to ensure help and guidance is provided at key milestone ages such as this one so that the problem isn't only exacerbated further down the line.

I try every day to teach my son new words but he just isn't interested or gets frustrated. Do you have any advice on how you got your daughter to begin talking?

Thanks so much!

OP posts:
Mmamadness · 05/01/2024 18:30

Omg this is so relieving to read! Thank you!! Your son sounds like he's doing incredibly well, I hope mine follows in his footsteps soon! It's just when it's been such a long time of him saying one thing I feel like it'll never happen, you know? I know it will eventually but the wait is painful - I just want to have little chats with him about anything and everything!

I'm so glad you shared what the nursery teacher said, as well - my mum worked in a nursery for 15 years and said a lot of them didn't talk til 3 years old but it was only her that I've ever heard say this. So to have someone else confirm it is relieving.

He won't be going to nursery or preschool until around June - September this year, as this is when I go back to work following my maternity leave from having my second child. I really want to take him to a playgroup now but I would have to take my 3 month old as well and feel like I would be that mum with the screaming baby there annoying everyone else - is this selfish? I debate taking him every day and just never know if to go for it.

I do take him to the park every single day, either that or the soft play area in hopes he will socialise but he isn't much interested in other children, unless they have a toy he wants to play with lol. The times he has interacted with other children they lose interest upon learning that he doesn't talk and mostly just stares at them.

Thanks so much for the info though, sounds like you're doing great with your little one! :)

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