Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Please help with ideas!!! Out of control 8 year old DD. Help!!

5 replies

pinkyponkyplink · 02/01/2024 21:40

We struggle with my 8 yo daughter. Shes mostly great at school but her behaviour at home is awful especially at bed time. Today hubby went back to work and I have spent the day cleaning, tidying and sorting. We had breakfast and lunch together, and we watched a film together but the rest of the day (mostly from 12:30-4) she has been playing on her iPad with her 10 year old sister. They've been brilliant together. Then hubby came home at dinner time, we couldn't get her off the iPad. She then had a massive tantrum and has basically been shouting, screaming, throwing herself around and answering back. It's been awful. She only just quietened down. I can't handle the shouting and screaming at all.

This isn't just a one off. She does have outbursts and struggles with her emotions etc. I always offer a cuddle and try and de-escalate but it's often too far gone.

I'm so upset as I feel the iPad time today hasn't helped. I feel like we need to put a positive reward in place so they earn iPad time!

What sanctions and rewards work? We've tried a point system like they have at school using class dojo. The points turn into money but it's hard to manage.

I'm also sad as I was going to take them to the cinema tomorrow. Just doesn't seem fair when my 10 year old has been great and her 8 year old sister is shouting at us and answering back. I have no one to leave her with whilst I take the 10 year old. Do we still go, or not?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Rainallnight · 03/01/2024 23:07

Take her to the cinema. My 7.5 year old would be absolutely deranged after that much iPad time. And it’s been a very intense time of year, out of routine etc.

If she struggles with emotions then you do need to think about how you’re going to tackle that. (I can come back and say more on this later). But separate it from the treat tomorrow

pinkyponkyplink · 03/01/2024 23:35

We went to the cinema so pleased we did. Had a lovely time. No ipad today. She has been ok until bedtime. Its transitions that we struggle with. No idea how I will manage getting them to school next week. I have to drop them at breakfast club at 7:30. It's a battle. Any tips welcome please?

OP posts:
PinkMimosa · 05/01/2024 16:13

How about if she's up and ready in the morning early enough she gets 10 minutes of iPad time? A MNer suggested this to me when we were struggling with DD and it did help.

Agree though that neither of ours would have coped at that age with all afternoon on an iPad. Well they would have loved it but we didn't like the fall out when they had to come off.

NoKnit · 05/01/2024 19:06

Yes it clearly too much screen time. But we've all been there I think so go easy on yourself. Mine are allowed 30 minutes tablet a day and anything over that they request has to be learnt through doing schoolwork or reading or going outside to play or something.

I personally wouldn't allow screen time before school whether they are ready or not. It isn't good for them before school

pinkyponkyplink · 06/01/2024 00:54

Thank you. The day on iPads was a one off. Allowed me to get decorations away, house sorted and jobs done. We've been out and about the last few days so they've had half an hour here and there morning or night. I'm absolutely dreading next week. I have to get out of the house before 7:15 most of next week and hubby leaves before 6 so it's all down to me. Feel like I'm constantly bribing, threatening and shouting. Any tips please????

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page