My 3 year old dd refuses to potty train !! HELP !!!

[mummyloveslucy]

I am having a nightmare trying to potty train my daughter who has just turned 3. I've tried putting her in knickers and letting her be wet, she dosn't seem to mind though. I put her on the potty every 1/2 an hour but she reluctantly sits there but bosn't wee. She'll then get up and minutes later wee in her knickers.
I try to explain to her what to do but I don't know how much she understands. She has a severe speech disorder, so communication is difficult. It seems to be becomming a bit of a battle at the moment. she is refusing to sit on the potty or toilet.
She has been a late developer so far, she sat up at 9 months, walked at 16 months and didn't crawl at all. I don't know if this is related. If anyone has any tips or ideas I'd be really greatful. I've tried sticker charts, potty books, a doll that wets it's self, fancy potty and pink knickers. Nothing seems to be working.

I would keep the potty around, let her see you on the loo, and try not to panic/force it. DS didn't start getting the hang of it till he was 3.5. The communication problems make it harder for them to give you advance notification when out and about, but otherwise shouldn't make it too difficult IME.

I know I've read your threads about your dd before, perhaps she as global development delay (it's a bit of a non-specific term I believe!) or perhaps she is exerting control in one area of her life because she is struggling elsewhere??? My dd4 has speech delay - chatters away but we understand very little!

Regardless of why I would honestly just leave it all together for 2 or 3 months and then try again.

Hugs I know it must be hard when everyone else seems to be progressing faster, dd2 was/is very introvert had speech & hearing difficulties - wouldn't talk at pre-school at all for ages.

9 months for sitting and 16 months for walking are really quite safely within normal range, I wouldn't be thinking of any global development delay just on basis of that and speech difficulties.

Yes dd4 doesn't tell me she wants to go (can't really tbh), just rather takes herself and does it but she's a very independent 2.5 (we've just toilet trained) and desperate to be like her bigger sister and seems to think she is actually 4................we have a lot of battles.......

yes I skimmed read without thinking about those ages - dd3 didn't sit until she was 10 months and dd4 didn't walk until she was 17 months so yes ignore, am typing as dh wittering away talking at me

I'd leave it for now, esp with her speech disorder.
My DS1 is 3.3 and not potty trained. He is just starting to wee on the loo.
I am trying to be chilled about it and having read lots of similar threads on here am hoping that one day he will decide he wants to wear pants and will just get on with it.
I gather that when they are older there is not much need to "train" that they know what to do once they are ready.
And my DS also walked (and talked) late, he likes to take his time.
Good luck.

Oh that's O.K then, I thought that this was late development compared to others but good to know that it's within the norm. I wasn't at all worried at the time, but with her speech problems etc I find myself trying to piece it together.

DS1 never crawled properly (he did commando style) and didn't walk till he was over 17 months.
No proper talking until 2 ish either.
Quite normal I think.
Am sure your DD will get there in her own good time...

I also ment to add that she does it at nursery.
When I collect her they say things like "she's been dry all day today". They must think that I'm not bothering at home. Which is annoying. She is an only child and I've noticed that when her little friend comes to play, who is trained she always wants to copy her. So at nursery she'd have lots of friends to copy.

Just another voice reinforcing the normality here.... both my dds were well over 3 when they were finally out of nappies.
DD1 was a late walker (17 months) but dd2 was earlier and still took an age to potty train.

I'd definitely leave it until she is ready

agree with everyone who has said 'don't push it'. She'll train when she's ready and there's nothing you can do to force it if she isn't. It's a very complex thing to achieve, if you think about it.

Ds was well over three when he potty trained - he's fine now, and I'm sure your dd will be. Certainly far too early to worry about anything.

I'm just worried in her lack of interest at home. I just can't see her ever comming out of pull-ups. She dosn't like change either and wants to keep her pull-ups.

I've always been firmly in the 'don't push it' camp, but DS2 turned three a couple of weeks ago and I'm now DESPERATE to get him trained! I think the simple fact of him turning three has addled me. I'm having to rein myself in.

It is hard when all the two-year-olds you know seem to be perfectly trained.

leaving baby/toddler hood behind is quite a sad/upsetting time for some DC???

I wouldn't be that worried if she wasn't at nursery but I feel guilty because when she started at 2 they did say that they prefere them to be trained but will accept pull ups. A hole year later and she's still not interested. She's the only one in her class who's not trained and I feel quite under pressure. She's also very tall for her age which dosn't help.
I will try my best to get her trained over the summer hol's and give her plenty of bare bum time in the garden so that she can get used to the feeling of weeing etc outside her nappy.

The nursery should not preesure you, I think that is against Ofsted regulations.
But I agree, summer is prob a good time, am sure running around with a bare bottom will help

Thanks everyone. I'll give it a rest now until the weather warms up and then have plenty of bare bum time. At the moment it's becomming a battle which isn't good for either of us. At the moment she has a lot of work to do with her speech so I'll give her a break for now.