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Behaviour/development

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Questions about my son, looking for answers

2 replies

Rekrap95 · 28/12/2023 16:32

35 year old first time father. My wife is 33 years old.

My son is soon to be 17 months. I feel very blessed that to this point he has hit every milestone for his age…. With the exception of his speech. He has his own jargon that he associates with things/objects, we know what he’s trying to say it just lacks in clarity which is par for the course it seems.

However, that’s not why I am here. I will not say that he has never been difficult, whiny, or extra fussy for ME.

We are fortunate enough that my wife only works part time, but it seems like he is a different child around her especially when Im not around. 9/10 times he clings to me rather than her. This morning she called me in tears, from the moment he woke up he cried and cried and fussed. Eventually to the point where he was actually hitting her in what I would assume to be frustration for whatever reason.

My mother in law watches him on days my wife works and outside of the occasional fussiness, NEVER reports any kind of behavior like that and when I am solo with him, he does not hit me or act any more fussy than what I would consider ordinary for the most part (there’s always the occasional meltdown). It seems as if my wife somehow triggers him in a way that changes his behavior. For example, if I was 1 on 1 with him in the morning while my wife catches up on sleep, he doesn’t behave that way. However, when she wakes up and if he were to see that she is present he flips like a light switch and becomes EXTRA whiny and agitated.

He has ALWAYS been an energetic little boy, but he is smart as a whip. Comprehends VERY well, understands simple instruction. Although he does test the boundaries some times.

My wife has lately been leaning on the, “he has behavior problems” and I don’t see those behaviors unless she’s around. Everything I’ve read said that whining/fussiness often is due to him being more comfortable around her as she is his mother.

We saw information about swollen adenoids, had them xrayed and the ENT doctor did not see anything as cause for concern. We also have a sleep study scheduled. He “sleeps” from 7:30p-6:30a, but he wakes up and is often showing signs of being tired again within an hour or two like he’s just not well rested.

my heart is broken, because he is such a smart little boy but he exhibits behavior like this at times.

I wrote this quickly on lunch break, I will be more than happy to answer any further questions. I’m just trying to get to the bottom of this because I don’t believe that he had behavior problems.

thank you for your time to read this.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ForevermoreAnxious · 30/12/2023 10:08

Honestly I'm hay you have described sounds like normal behaviour. My son is 18 months and he is exactly the same. He plays me up chronically. Hangs off me and has meltdowns, ignores my instruction, hits me, whinges and whines. But he never does that with his dad. He's good as gold with his dad and his dad keeps saying it's obviously the fact I can't handle him. I dont think your or mine from what you say have behaviour issues. I think it's just their way of exploring and testing boundaries. I don't think you have anything to worry about and I think it's a phase that will pass.

Scirocco · 31/12/2023 12:12

What you've described sounds within the range of normal behaviours at this stage, particularly if he's a bright young boy who's maybe frustrated at not being able to make people understand him like he wants. Why's he having a sleep study? Who referred him for that?

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