We were meant to be going on a day out today

[3NAB]

The kids were fighting and made DS2 (aged 2) cry 3 times. DH said not going now.

DS1 (nearly 7) is happy that I am sad we aren't going out.

God give me strength.

ds1 is not happy - he's just manipulating you very successfully.

It's peeing with rain anyway - get the board games out or get their teddies, spread a picnic rug on the floor and pretend to have a teddy bears' picnic.

Above all - talk to dh about presenting a united front to the children when it comes to discipline.

What do you mean?

It was DH's call as far as I was concerned and I backed him up.

Off to Homebase for ceiling stuff instead.

Never tell them that you are sad about the results of any punishment you give. It undermines you, and it undermines the punishment. It also gives them huge amounts of leverage to manipulate you.

Can you take ds2 out, and leave ds1 in with his dad - so that the punishment is his and not inflicted on his brother as well? Might make him think twice next time.

3NAB - only that you said that ds1 is glad that you're sad. So to me it sounds as though you're making dh the villain who has banned the day out. But maybe I've interpreted that incorrectly - always difficult to read between the lines!

WigWamBam has expressed it better than me. By the way - isn't it very unfair to punish everyone for one child's behaviour?

That isn't something that usually happens to adults, is it? If I get caught speeding dh won't get points on his licence!

Sounds as though you're making a rod for your own back by taking them to Homebase instead

we had this on holiday recently.ds1(6) kept running off.we went to go bowling and had warned him that if he ran off or anymore not so great behaviour and we wouldnt go.on way to bowling he ran off a couple of times,shouted at his siblings and was just generally ungrateful so we turned around and tried again the night after-and he was fine!
i think my ds enjoys that fact that he knows he can wind me up easily

I get your point about saying I was sad. I thought it would make him think.

DH didn't want to go if we all didn't go as then we wouldn't have any time together either.

Homebase was fine. Only there a short time.

DD hadn't bee great either so it was DS2 that missed out but he seems quite happy atm.